


cèile anam

by whollyjoly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Cody is having a rough time okay, Commander Cody is out here trying his best, M/M, Mutual Pining, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Panic Attacks, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Slow Burn, this is a lot angstier than i expected, this is basically a self-indulgent study on colors and idgaf, why are my boys such idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22838140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whollyjoly/pseuds/whollyjoly
Summary: In a universe where sentients can only see in black and white until they meet their soulmates, Jedi are born seeing color. It is said that their souls are bound to the Force and need no one else to complete them.Obi-wan Kenobi, as it so happens, was missing a color.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 141
Kudos: 775





	1. Obi-wan - Kamino

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first real fic project! 
> 
> Basically, this whole thing was inspired by this post: https://bigwolfpup.tumblr.com/post/161792928692/okay-but-do-yall-remember-this-guy-what-if-that
> 
> I saw that, and thought, what if this was a soulmate AU?
> 
> So, I did a thing.
> 
> Huge shoutout to Scribbles, my vod'ika, who spent countless hours either reading through my garbage drafts or just discussing random plot points that came through my brain. I couldn't have done it without you!
> 
> Also, feel free to say hi on tumblr!

Obi-wan hated long flights in his speeder. The cramped quarters, the monotony of whirling nothingness, the sickening feeling of blips in the Force flashing by at incomprehensible speeds. At least in a cruiser he was able to pace or spar, anything to waste away the time. But while on his way to look for Kamino, tucked in to his small speeder, Obi-wan did the only thing he could to pass the time - he meditated.

~

Blue.

Obi-wan focused on the color blue, the color of his lightsaber, and Anakin's. Blue, like the little droid, R2-D2. Blue, like the seas of Stewjon on a still day. Blue, the color Anakin brightened in his life.

Green.

Next, he surrounded himself with the feel of the color green, like the forests of Takodana. Green, the color of his old master's lightsaber. Green, like Yoda. Green, like the color of tea leaves before they're dried. Green, the color Qui Gon brightened in his life.

These are the colors that show that Obi-wan has no mate, but that his soul is bound with the Force. Obi-wan breathed in, then out, thinking, _I am one with the Force, and the Force will be with me, always._

Red. 

Red, the color of Maul. Red, like the blood spilling from Qui Gon as he went limp in Obi-wan's arms. Red, like a force field, stopping him from saving his master. But also, red, the color of the flowers on Naboo. Red, the color of the sunset seen from the Massassi temple on Yavin IV.

A breath in, and out. _I am one with the Force, and the Force will be with me, always._

Purple. 

Next, purple, the color of Satine's ceremonial Mandalorian robes. Purple, the color of Master Windu's lightsaber. Purple, like the power couplings of pod racers. Purple, the color of Melida/Daan. Purple, the color that Satine brightened in his life.

Gold.

Gold, like-

~

Obi-wan snapped out of his meditation with a start.

As a Jedi, he'd been born with the ability to see color, unlike most sentients in the galaxy. While others spent their lives seeing in black and white until they locked eyes with their soulmates, Jedi were one with Force and had no physical mate.

Of course almost every being had platonic mates that gave or strengthened a single color, but only a true soulmate could give all of them. And for a Jedi, that was the Force.

Obi-wan, however, was missing a color.

There was a color between the bright yellow of Anakin's favorite speeder and the deep orange of a Tatooine sunset, between the haunting color of Maul's eyes and the deep lusciousness of the Damsel flower from Endor. A blank spot on the rainbow, where Obi-wan could only see a gray line. This color, sometimes called amber, but more often referred to as _golden_ , has always been a mystery to him.

The Force hadn't given him all his colors.

Obi-wan decidedly did not tell anyone else of this fact, especially in the Order. He took it to mean that his connection to the Force wasn't strong enough, wasn't good enough. No wonder Qui-Gon didn't want him and was ready to get rid of him as soon as he could, for kriff's sake the _Force_ didn't even want him.

"It won't do to dwell on such thoughts out here," Obi-wan sighed as he ran his fingers over the controls of his speeder. 

R4 trilled back a short questioning series of noises.

"It's nothing, R4. Just, well, sitting in space so long with one's thoughts is never a healthy practice. How much longer until we reach the site of our mystery planet?"

[About 2 and a half hours, Friend-Kenobi. Assuming nothing deviates an unusually large amount from usual.]

Obi-wan chuckled, "Are you implying that me deviating from the plan is normal?"

[With you at the helm, Friend-Kenobi, always.]

Giving a short laugh, Obi-wan looked at the little droid fondly. "Fair enough, I suppose." 

Something in the Force called him to this mystery that was the planet Kamino, and it left him feeling restless in his seat. Pushing the thought out of his mind, he stretched a bit and settled back into a meditative pose to occupy the rest of the journey.

 _Blue_ , he thought, as he looked at the navigational system in front of him. _Green_ , as he saw the blinking lights on the panel, signalling that everything was functioning normally. _Red_ , as he looked at R4, spinning away at the front of the speeder. 

_But what is gold?_

~

After a series of unsuccessful attempts to return to a proper meditative state, R4 trilled that they would be dropping out of hyperspace soon.

The first thing Obi-wan noticed when he saw the planet was how _blue_ it was. Not a bright, sky blue, but something deeper and more sinister. There was a dark quality to the shade, like something was lurking just below the depths of the ocean to consume whatever rested unsuspecting on top. He looked dubiously at the storms that raged along the Northern hemisphere of the planet, bright flashes of white lightning that were visible even from where he had emerged from hyperspace. Nothing about this planet seemed particularly welcoming.

"There it is R4, right where it should be. Our missing planet Kamino."

[I've got a bad feeling about this,] R4 trilled back.

He couldn’t help but agree.

As soon as they passed through the cloud layer, Obi-wan's speeder was hit by the force of the rain coming down. It was a storm like he had never seen before, raindrops the size of a sweet granadilla coming down practically sideways with the strong winds, nearly knocking them off-course. R4 quickly readjusted the flight path, and brought them down on the only structure that could be found by the scanners on the entire planet.

Obi-wan hesitated before climbing out of the cockpit. The Force felt odd in this place, like there were hundreds of thousands of lights crowded together in this platform but all with a strangely muted quality to them. Yet there was also an odd pull Obi-wan felt to this place. 

"What could the Force possibly want me to find on a kriff-forsaken planet in the middle of nowhere? In a downpour, of all things?" Obi-wan mused aloud. Because, _of course_ , the rain didn't look like it was going to be stopping any minute, or any month for that matter.

Anakin hated sand, Obi-wan hated getting wet. Such was the nature of things.

"Well, R4, I better go in sometime. Keep watch for me, will you?"

[You can count on me, Friend-Kenobi!]

Obi-wan smiled warmly at the droid. "I know I can, my friend." 

Taking a final breath, Obi-wan lifted the hood of his cloak and opened the cockpit, mentally cursing the rain hitting his nose. As he climbed out and made his way to the door, he tried his best to ignore the Force growing warmer and pulsing stronger with every step.

~

As he sat across from Lama Su, Obi-wan found it hard to focus on what the governor was saying while keeping his mind from racing.

 _An army? Of over a million clones? For the Republic? Sponsored by the Jedi?_

None of it made any sense.

All the while, the presence of so many muted lights in the Force felt as if it was slowly suffocating Obi-wan. Yet that strong pull kept him seated, so the Jedi put on his perfected Negotiator smile and did his best to glean as much information as he could from the Kaminoan. 

"...but you must be anxious to inspect the units for yourself," Obi-wan heard Lama Su say, bringing his thoughts back into the moment.

 _Stay in the present_ , Obi-wan could practically hear his master's voice repeat, _pay attention to the Living Force_.

Obi-wan attempted to heed the lesson. He grinned disarmingly at the Kaminoan. "That's why I'm here."

Trying to ignore the sense of foreboding that was building with every second, he followed the governor out of the room.

~

Walking through the cloning facility, the wrongness of the situation kept tumbling through Obi-wan's mind. How could a Jedi have backed the production of a clone army? They were meant to protect peace and life, not create life only for it to be used as a disposable weapon.

 _No wonder their force signatures feel so muted_ , Obi-wan mused. _They're bred to be obedient, unquestioning, and loyal to a fault. The Kaminoans have stripped from them what it means to be alive and true to yourself._

But Obi-wan couldn't say that. Not when there was more information to be learned. So he took a breath, released the negativity of those thoughts into the Force, and put his Negotiator face back on.

"Very impressive," Obi-wan said instead, trying not to have it sound as sarcastic as he means it in his head.

"I'd hoped you would be pleased," Lama Su responded, either not picking up the sarcasm, or not showing that he had. "Clones can think creatively, you will find that they are immensely superior to droids..."

 _That may be, but they are designed to be used and thrown away in the exact same fashion_ , Obi-wan thought grimly. _Just war machines with skin and a human brain._

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Obi-wan.

"What about color? Can the clones see color from birth, or only in black and white?"

Lama Su pursed his equivalent of lips at the question, obviously displeased.

"Unfortunately, the mystery of soulmates is one that even we, with our great genetic knowledge and expertise, have not had the ability to crack. Despite our attempts at modifying the genetic template given to us, we have not been able to stimulate the vision centers in the correct way. Therefore, all of the clones are born seeing only black and white."

"...I see."

"Not to worry, Master Jedi," Lama Su continued, sensing the Jedi's discomfort for the wrong reasons, "any clone that receives his colors is decommissioned immediately."

"Decommissioned?" Obi-wan tried to keep the incredulity out of his voice, but was not entirely convinced of his success.

"Of course. A soulmate can jeopardize the loyalty of a unit, giving them an incentive to serve another being. What if a clone's soulmate was a separatist general, perhaps? That could compromise the security of your army, increasing the possibility of disobedience and disorder. No, for that reason it is required that all clones immediately report the receiving of colors. And besides, soulmates are of no use in war, of course."

"Of course," he replied, looking out over row after row of young clones growing in what amounted to be large test tubes, and pointedly not at Lama Su.

"...we take great pride in our combat education and training programs..." The Kaminoan kept on talking, but Obi-wan barely listened. He could hardly believe what the governor was saying.

Not only were these lives built to be used as nothing more than weapons, but they were denied the fundamental sentient right as spelled out by the Senate to be able to be with their soulmate. It's not as though he could fully understand, not having a soulmate himself, but the concept alone was sobering nonetheless.

They stopped in front of a mess hall with rows of clones eating what looked to be a basic protein loaf, Obi-wan asking questions on autopilot in an attempt to look politely interested at what the Kaminoan was describing. Throughout their tour of the facility, the Force pulsed warmer and warmer with each step, and now it was almost burning Obi-wan with every beat of his heart. He looked out at the clones, and couldn't help but notice the lack of energy, the lack of spark in their movements. They weren't talking to each other, they didn't even care that they were being watched. It appeared as they were no more than droids, programmed to consume nutrients in order to continue functioning at an optimal level.

That is, until one of them looked up and made eye contact with the Jedi. For a second, it felt as though everything was still.

 _Oh, so that's what gold looks like_ , was Obi-wan's first thought.

Then, the world exploded.

Suddenly, what had first looked like a dull red color on the clones' uniforms turned to a deep, rich burgundy. Behind the mess, the pale blue that was radiating from the growing pods turned to a blinding, brighter hue. Even the white of the halls and the Kaminoans' skin was brighter and more radiant. And the clone's eyes - no, _his_ clone's eyes - were a brilliant, deep golden color, one like Obi-wan had never seen.

_Oh._

_Oh kriff._

The seconds that Obi-wan and the clone ( _his_ clone) held each other's gaze felt like hours. It took everything Obi-wan had to keep still and not gaze around in wonder at all the new colors lest the Kaminoan pick up on what just happened, yet he also felt it impossible to look away. His clone ( _his soulmate_ , Obi-wan's brain supplied, before he pushed that thought down to deal with another time) also looked on the verge of panic, eyes wide and desperately trying to look like nothing was wrong.

Despite the fear of discovery for his mate, despite the somber situation and wrongness of the clone army and the Jedi's involvement, Obi-wan couldn't help but take a moment to appreciate just how beautiful this being staring at him was. Particularly, no, _especially_ , with his golden eyes.

"...Master Jedi?"

The moment broke with a snap. Suddenly the severity of the situation fell into place, and Obi-wan - reluctantly - tore his gaze from the man below, and brought it back to the Kaminoan.

"Sorry governor, just admiring your work. What were you saying about the original host?"

"I'm glad you are pleased, Master Jedi. As I was saying, the original host is a bounty hunter named Jango Fett..."

Obi-wan paused before he followed Lama Su down the hallway, closing his eyes and taking a moment to memorize the Force signature of the clone below. It was, of course, similar to the other clones around him, but there was something unique about it as well. The pull, Obi-wan realized, was coming from him. Reaching out with his own Force energy, Obi-wan felt a warm, golden breeze wash over him from the clone, like laying on a sunny patch of grass on Stewjon in the late spring.

He sighed and pulled the Force back, in case he paused for too long and gave the Kaminoans cause for concern. Obi-wan continued on after Lama Su, trying to hide how reluctant he was to move away from the clone. _His_ clone. His _soul_ _mate_. It took every ounce of his willpower to look straight ahead and not turn back around for one last look, even as he felt golden eyes follow him away.

~

The rest of Obi-wan's time on Kamino went by in a blur. In one moment, he was following Lama Su through the compound, and the next he was face-to-face with Jango Fett, who looked both identical and world's apart from the clone in the mess. For one, Jango's force signature was denser, more twisted. Not dark, per se, but not warm like his own clone's. Also, Obi-wan noted, unexpectedly pleased, his eyes were not nearly as vibrant as the golden ones from before.

Then, in the next moment, the two of them were fighting in the overwhelming Kaminoan rain. The fight was brutal, and Obi-wan could tell that, if the clones were truly modeled after this bounty hunter, that they would be formidable opponents in no uncertain terms.

But just as soon as it had started, it was over, leaving Obi-wan staring after the retreating ship, blinking raindrops out of his eyes.

"...well, that could have gone better," he muttered to himself, pulling his hood over his head without thinking. Of course, all the rain that had pooled in his hood came splashing down over his face, leaving him - somehow - more soaked than before.

As he was about to climb back into his speeder, Obi-wan hesitated. While the rain poured and the wind whipped his cloak around him, he found his thoughts drifting to a distant memory. It was a memory that he could not quite remember but felt as much a part of Obi-wan as the Force itself. He distantly recalled warm arms, swinging him around. A bright laugh, and the twinkle of sharp, blue eyes.

And a soft voice, who murmured to him, " _Caidil gu math, mo leanbh. Bruadar do cèile anam, agus gheibh thu iad a dh'aithghearr._ "

_Sleep well, my child. Dream of your soulmate, and you will find them soon._

Obi-wan slowly blinked the vision away, the voice slowly getting drowned out by the onslaught of the rain. He didn't think he had any recollection of his childhood on Stewjon, but he would recognize the soft, rolling brogue of his native language anywhere.

 _Cèile anam_. Soulmate. The word rattled around in his brain, leaving a sense of longing and contentment. For a moment, he felt the warm pulse of the Force pull him back inside. _It would be so easy,_ he found himself thinking, _just run inside, grab him and go. What would it be like to have a soulmate? Someone who is supposed to fit me unconditionally? Who cares about the consequences, we could just run, it doesn't matter what happens to anyone else, to this army, to the galaxy..._

 _No_. 

Obi-wan shook his head. That line of thinking was exactly why Jedi forbade attachments - having someone that you could and would sacrifice the galaxy for was dangerous.

 _Besides_ , Obi-wan thought ruefully, _a true Jedi doesn't have a soulmate in the first place_.

He took one last long look at the cloning facility, noticing how much brighter the lights seemed to be and deeper the blue of the ocean looked despite the raging storm. He gathered his thoughts of desire for the clone with the golden eyes, reveled in the emotion of finding his _cèile anam_ for a half of a second, and then released it into the Force. Obi-wan turned towards his speeder, and took off after the bounty hunter.

He didn't look back again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here ends chapter 1! I have the next few chapters written, so hopefully it won't be too long before my next update. 
> 
> It is unashamedly my headcanon that Stewjon is basically Scotland. Is this mostly due to the fact that Ewan McGregor is Scottish, and I love him dearly? Yes. 100%.
> 
> Because of that hc, the native language to Stewjon is simply Scottish Gaelic. It's truly a beautiful language, and I highly suggest listening to some of it for the full effect.
> 
> "Cèile anam," the title for this piece, technically translates to "the soul of your spouse" (ish). It's pronounced kay-lee ahn-ahm, and it's honestly one of my favorite terms.
> 
> Feel free to stop by and say hi on tumblr!
> 
> Again, a HUGE thanks to my vod'e! Scribbles (robinplaystrumpet15), for always being willing to read over my writing and entertain my 10000 angsty codywan thoughts, and Bucket, for putting up with us as we ramble.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you'll stay tuned for the next chapter!


	2. Cody - Kamino

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mando'a translations in the end notes.

_Kebiin_.

Blue. 

That was the color of the man's eyes. 

Though Cody knew he had never seen the color blue before, he was more certain of this than he was of anything else. 

He knew it like he knew he was CC-2224, or that a DC-15A blaster weighs 4.4 kilograms and has a range of 5 kilometers with a 500 shot capacity, or that a battalion has four companies of 165 troopers each. Even long after the man turned away, the color was seared into Cody's brain. _Kebiin, kebiin, kebiin,_ his brain whispered as he stared blankly at his food. Blue, blue, blue. 

Before, Cody had seen nothing. Then he saw blue, and now he can see everything.

It took every ounce of Cody's training to maintain a blank expression while marching with his squad back to the barracks. He kept seeing new colors out of the corner of his eye, things of all shades that were calling to him. Yet somehow, he forced himself to peel away his gaze in case any of the long-necks noticed.

Their post-combat training uniform - _get'al,_ red. The medical droids gleaming as they roll down the hallway - _aroa'yr_ , silver. The bruise on the arm of a clone who passed him - _saviin_ , violet.

And the eyes of the man who stared down at Cody in the mess - _kebiin_ , blue.

The march back to his quarters seemed like an eternity. And, of course, today was the day that Kad'la squad was due for a barracks inspection.

Typically, standing at attention for fifteen minutes was not a challenge for any squad. Especially Cody’s squad. Thire, Bly, Grey, Wolffe and Cody were known to be quick, agile, and strong - so much so that the other _vod_ started to call them _kad'la_ , the mando'a word for sharp _._

But today, every passing second made Cody want to crawl out of his own skin. Could his superiors not hear how loud his heart was beating? It felt like he had a big sign over his head that screamed _look at me, I can see in color_. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they were dismissed for rec time. But before Cody could pull away, Wolffe caught up to him. The clone threw his arms around the other’s shoulders. "Come on, _Cod'ika_ , ready to be defeated on the spar mats?" 

Cody shrugged off his squadmate's arm. "I've told you Wolffe, just because you were decanted two minutes before me doesn't mean you can call me that."

Wolffe grinned, reaching a hand up to ruffle Cody's hair. "It does, and I will."

Cody shook him off again with a grumble. He tried not to show it, but really, the old argument did lighten his mood. "Not today, Wolffe. I think I'm just going to hit the 'fresher and do some tactics practice."

"Oh come on, you did that the last two days! If you stay off the mats too long you won't stay sharp, _kad'la_."

"Wolffe, the only thing sharp about you is your smell," Thire called out as he walked towards them.

Bly grinned as he joined his squadmates. "Didn't anyone tell you that the dirt in the training arena is for simulating a battle environment, and rolling around in it is _not_ an acceptable replacement for a shower?"

Wolffe gave Cody a sideways glance, the same expression he always wore before making trouble. There was a flash of movement, and before anyone could blink Wolffe had grabbed Bly by the back of the neck and raised his arm. With a wink towards Cody, Wolffe stuck his squadmate's face into his armpit.

"Ha! How do you like my sharp smell now, _Bly'ika_!"

"Wolff-! Mmph- get off me!"

The two wrestled for a bit, Thire and Grey laughing at their antics. Cody couldn't help a small smile. His squadmates knew him well enough to tell when something was wrong, but also understood that pushing him to talk wouldn't get anywhere. So they did what _aliit_ do best - made sure Cody felt like he wasn’t alone.

After a couple minutes of tussling, Wolffe and Grey headed out to spar. Thire challenged Bly to a race on the obstacle course, leaving Cody alone in their barracks.

The silence he wished for a moment ago almost felt suffocating.

He took a moment in the quiet to breathe, and finally allowed himself to look around the room. Their barracks were completely white, barely appearing different than it had this morning. For a second, Cody wondered if he was dreaming after all. Absently, he made his way to the 'fresher, hoping to splash some water on his face and clear his head. But as soon as the door opened, the clone stopped in his tracks.

Staring back at Cody in the mirror was _ve'vut_. His eyes were gold.

Seeing his reflection, the panic of the situation finally settled on Cody's chest. He _had_ received his colors. Cody, CC-2224, a clone commander with the highest tactical and analytical scores on record at Kamino, potentially slated for commanding an entire battalion, had a soulmate.

 _Oh,_ Cody thought.

 _Oh haar'chak_.

~~

Cody first heard about the colors six months after he was decanted. In human terms, he had been 11 years old.

In those days, Jango was one of the main people training them on Kamino. Cody and his squad were in the second batch of clones, so they got to spend more time with him than almost anyone else. Not only would Jango train them in combat, but he taught them Mando'a and about the Mandalorian culture. He helped give them names. Jango was the only person outside the _vod_ who could tell the difference between each of the clones, and for that alone, they called him their _buir_.

That night, the night Cody first heard about the colors, he and his squad were on the blaster range with Jango.

He may not have been as quick as Thire or as precise as Wolffe, but Cody loved the range itself. There was something about the weight of the blaster in his hand, the satisfying sound of a bolt hitting the target, and even the slight smell of burnt carbon that remained in the air that felt _right._ As long as he had a blaster in his hand, Cody knew he was where he was meant to be.

 _Aim, like Jango showed me,_ Cody thought as he lined up the shot to hit the droid-outline right in the head, _breathe in, out, squeeze._

The shot landed perfectly. Cody let out a small sigh of relief.

 _"Jate,_ Kote," Jango called from behind him. "But remember, don't just focus on your first shot. Celebrating a good first shot means you miss the second shot, and that's what gets you killed."

"Yes, _buir_ ," Cody replied as he readied the next shot, trying not to sound as sheepish as he felt.

As he fired off another bolt, Bly, Grey, and Thire walked into the room. Cody tried to stop the pang of jealousy from hitting him as he spied their easy camaraderie, something he had yet to find with the rest of his squad. His _vod_ supported him and would always have his back - he knew this, of course. But as the quiet one in the group, he didn't quite know where he fit in just yet.

His three squadmates greeted Jango and grabbed their blasters off the rack, settling in to the aisles to the right of Cody. Another couple minutes ticked by, signalling that it was past the start of their training block. Wolffe was nowhere in sight.

" _Di'kuut_ ," Jango muttered under his breath. "Anyone see Wolffe? It's not like him to be this late."

The cadets exchanged worried looks. Wolffe was the loudest and most mischievous of the squad, sure, but he took his responsibility as the oldest seriously. Cody had never seen him act lazy or slack off before.

"No, _buir_." Closest to the door, Thire shifted and narrowed his eyes to see if he could spot Wolffe in the hallway.

"He was with us in the mess, sir, but peeled off to go to the 'fresher," Bly added.

Jango let out a gruff sigh.

"Alright cadets, continue with your drills. I'm going to find Wolffe before some long-neck does-"

Before he could finish, Wolffe burst into the room. Even though he was out of breath, Cody noticed that he was pale and wore an odd expression. It was...well, if Cody didn't know better, he would say it was _fear_. It was unlike anything he had seen on his squadmate before.

Wolffe stared at them, wide-eyed for a moment, before he shook his head and quickly snapped to attention. "S-sir! Sorry I'm late, sir!"

Even from the other side of the room, Cody could see Wolffe's hands were shaking.

Jango looked as though he was about to lecture the cadet, but seeing how out of sorts Wolffe was, decided better of it. Shaking his head, Jango simply responded, "Just prep your blaster and get in line with your squadmates, _ad'ika_. We'll talk later."

Though there was a flicker of relief that passed through Wolffe's face, it didn't stay there for very long. As he went to grab his blaster and square up in the aisle directly to Cody's left, he noticed Wolffe kept glancing around, as if in search of something.

Cody glanced at his other squadmates. They had matching expressions of concern as well.

Peering over towards Wolffe, Cody did a quick scan to see if anything was physically wrong with him. Seeing him do this, Wolffe put on a wide grin - the one that Cody noticed he wore when hiding pain after a particularly brutal training exercise or embarrassment after getting a low score on an assessment. " _Cod'ika,_ quit worrying about me and focus on trying to beat my blaster score for once." Without waiting for a response, Wolffe turned to his blaster and began assembling it for practice.

"Just because you were decanted two minutes before me doesn't mean you can call me that," Cody quipped back, hoping the usual banter will lighten Wolffe's mood.

It didn't work. Without looking up from his blaster, Wolffe barely muttered, "It does, and I will."

Cody again exchanged glances with the rest of his squadmates, and saw Jango narrow his eyes at the cadet. Whatever had happened, it must've been a lot to shake him up like this. But they knew that Wolffe was as stubborn as any clone, so Jango signaled them to resume, and the five of them finished their drills in silence.

Wolffe, to Cody's complete lack of surprise, was not as fine as he tried to appear.

For the first time in, well, _ever_ , Wolffe missed over half of his shots. 

Cody watched as Jango looked at the cadet, who was standing in front of the target, eyes down, fists clenched and lightly shaking. Their _buir_ wordlessly walked over to Wolffe and put a hand on his shoulder. That must've been the breaking point, because Wolffe's shoulders started to shake in a sob.

"I- I don't know what happened, _buir_. I stopped into the 'fresher on my- my way here, and there was another cadet there, and when I saw his- his _eyes_ suddenly I got this strange feeling and," Wolffe paused for a moment, hiccuping, and leaned more into Jango's touch. "and then I- I noticed a bacta patch on his arm but it didn't look right and my mind told me _tal'yayc_ \- or, o-orange, and I have no idea how I know that, and-"

" _Udesii,_ _Wolf'ika,_ " Jango said, bringing the cadet against his chest. There were a couple moments of silence where Cody could barely bring himself to breathe. 

Wolffe slowly pulled away from Jango, and when he did look up, his eyes were full of fear.

" _Buir_? Will...will the Kaminoans decommission me for this?"

Cody could see the tension in Jango's jaw from across the room.

"I will not let that happen, _ad'ika_. Come, it's not safe for us to talk out here. We'll go back to my quarters, and I can tell you about the _sal'e_ there."

Wolffe slowly nodded, then looked to his squadmates. He looked nervous, as if he was ashamed they would judge him for breaking down in front of them. Without hesitation, Cody walked over to him and put a hand on the shoulder that wasn't occupied by Jango's. "We're with you, _ori'vod_ , and we'll figure this out together."

The small smile that overtook Wolffe's face was the first genuine one Cody had seen all evening.

~

Back at Jango's private quarters, Cody, Wolffe, Thire, Bly, and Grey sat on floor cushions in the main room. Unlike the rest of Tipoca City, which consisted of countless rooms in stark white, Jango’s quarters were slightly gray. Despite there being no other decoration, this simple change in shade was enough for Cody to feel more, well, at home there than he did anywhere else. It wasn’t particularly roomy, with just barely enough space for Jango to sit with them, holding a steaming mug of caf. Boba, 5 years old in both mental and physical age, was playing with a toy speeder in the corner, seemingly oblivious to the somber mood that took over the room.

"What do you mean, a _runiriduur_?"

Jango sighed, then took a long sip of caf. "Exactly what it sounds like, Wolffe. According to history, each being has one or more people who, as they say, complete their soul."

The cadets stared at him in confusion.

“...Right. Let me put it another way. In Mandalorian legend, the ancestors thought of it as the completion of a set of armor - alone, you may just have a helmet and two pauldrons. Your _runiriduur_ has the chest plate and limb protection. Separate, the two of you are vulnerable, weak. But together, you make something stronger than the sum of your parts."

The room fell silent, save for Boba's quiet babbling in the corner. 

" _Buir,_ " Thire said after a pause, "How do we know when we find our person?"

Jango looked over at the usually loud cadet, sitting quietly and staring at his feet. "I bet Wolffe can answer that question."

Wolffe glanced up, seemingly startled. Then he thought for a moment, and softly said, "...the _sal'e_."

Jango looked over at him, eyes soft. "Yes, _ad'ika_ , the _sal'e_. Or the colors, as they say in Basic. We are all born seeing the world in _ne'tra_ and _cin_ \- black and white. When you find those whose souls fit with your own, you are able to see all the _sal'e_. The _jetii_ legends say it is because only a complete soul can resonate in the Force in a way that creates color." Jango seemed displeased at the thought of the _jetii,_ but moved on. "On Mandalore, we called the person who gives you all of your colors your _runiriduur_. Your true soulmate."

 _Runiriduur_. The word spun through Cody's head, giving him a feeling of hope and heartbreak, of warmth and chill, of soft smiles and sad eyes. The term gave him the same sensation he felt every time he looked out into the ocean around Kamino - like there was something there that he couldn't make out yet, or like he was waiting for something to arrive. It was a strange feeling, but Cody could not convince himself it was a bad one.

"Um... _buir_? Why is it that I only got one color, _tal'yayc_?"

"Don't worry, _ad'ika_. Not everyone has a single _runiriduur_ , others may have multiple _kar'ta riduur_. Having a heart partner is sometimes referred to as a platonic soulmate," Wolffe scrunched his nose up at the unknown phrase, but Jango continued, "-it means that whoever gives you a single color is someone who is very important to you, yes, but not necessarily the one person who will complete you. To go back to the Mando’ad way of thinking, let’s say you have the helmet and pauldrons, and your _kar'ta riduur_ has the leg guards and boots. It’s not a full set, no, but you work better together than you ever could apart. Some people only have _kar'ta riduur_ , and together they all make up the entire spectrum of colors. Some people may have a _runiriduur,_ but also a _kar'ta riduur_ who strengthens a single color."

Wolffe was quiet for a long pause, thinking. "So, does that mean that the cadet I ran into in the 'fresher - CC-5576-39 - is my _kar'ta riduur_?"

"Yes, _Wolf'ika._ " Jango looked thoughtfully at the cadet for a moment, before asking, "do you know if CC-5576-39 - Gregor, he likes to be called - got a color as well?"

Wolffe jolted in his seat. "I...don't know. He looked as shocked as I did when we made eye contact, but I ran out soon after." To Cody's surprise, Wolffe looked ashamed of himself with this admission. He had known his squadmate to be apologetic, flustered, and even embarrassed, but never _ashamed_.

Cody saw a flicker of concern cross Jango's face, but he did his best to quickly cover it up with a look that he hoped to be comforting to the cadet. "Well, it sounds like he might be as confused and afraid as you were. Why don't you go and find him and bring him back here to talk? His squad should be in Barracks 3 by now."

With a determined nod, Wolffe quickly got up and left the room. After he left, silence fell again in the room, but was more contemplative than the somber tone it had been before.

Suddenly, Cody had a thought.

"Um... _buir_? I have a question."

"What is it, Kote?"

Cody hesitated a moment, unsure if he should continue. He didn’t want to upset Jango… but for some reason he _needed_ to know the answer to this.

He looked up at Jango. "Do you have a _runiriduur_?"

This time, the silence was so thick you could cut it with a vibroblade. Thire and Bly quickly exchanged glances, and looked at Cody as if he had gone mad. Grey seemed to shrink back, as if he could blend with the wall behind him that appeared to match his name.

Jango's gaze hardened as he stared at Cody, as if to will him to take the question back. But Cody did not look away.

"Why do you want to know?"

Cody did his best to hide the impulsive flinch, hearing the sharpness in Jango's voice. But he was determined, and nothing would make him back down. "Earlier, when Wolffe asked you if the Kaminoans would decommission him for receiving a color, you didn't answer him. Then, you brought us here, out of the earshot of the long-necks, and told Wolffe to get Gregor so we could tell him too." Cody paused, and Jango said nothing, only looking at the cadet expectantly.

Cody broke their gaze and looked towards the floor as he took a slow breath, willing himself to continue. "The Kaminoans _would_ decommission us, wouldn't they? The _sal_ makes us individuals, something- something the long-necks discourage. If...if there's someone else out there that makes us whole, it could give us someone else to be loyal to outside the clones, and that leaves us at a tactical disadvantage." 

Cody paused, again, before looking back to Jango. His tone was harder now, both more demanding and more desperate than any of his squadmates had heard before. 

"I want to know if you have a _runiriduur_ because I want to know what makes it so special. What makes it worth the risk? The risk of not telling the Kaminoans, and therefore jeopardizing the safety of the entire clone army?"

There was a long, quiet moment. Even Boba had stopped playing, as if instinctually staying still at the tone in Cody's voice.

As the silence went on, Cody flushed when he realized just how sharply he had spoken to his _buir_. Would Jango be upset at how disrespectful he had been? Would he report him for his borderline subordination? Cody opened his mouth to apologize when suddenly-

Jango laughed.

Cody looked at his squadmates, surprise evident on his face. He saw Thire and Bly share his gaping expression, and Grey looked like he had shrunk even more, as if the wall could swallow him whole. Jango _never_ laughed.

Jango's sudden burst of laughter trailed off as soon as it started, and then he was looking at Cody with a smirk. "You've got quite a _paklalat_ , don't you _Kot'ika_?"

"I-I'm sorry, _buir_." Cody lowered his gaze, regretting that he had ever thought he could speak so brazenly to Jango.

"No, Kote," The softness of Jango's refutal shocked Cody into looking back up at his _buir_. "Do not apologize for having a talent that sets you apart." Jango looked over at the four members of Kad'la squad present. "Yes, the Kaminoans would almost certainly decommission any of you that are shown to have colors. But that is because they are _afraid_ of how strong you could prove to be without, or even against, them. Each of you are clones, yes, but you are individuals."

He continued, "Wolffe is strong, both in body, and strong-headed. Though that might be seen by some as stubborn, I see him as resolute, and a confident leader."

Jango looked at Thire. "Thire, you are fast on your feet, always jumping in to any new situation. The long-necks take it as reckless, but I see it as quick-thinking." Thire's whole body relaxed, something that Cody had rarely seen happen in his typically wound-up squadmate.

Their _buir_ shifted his gaze to the left, going on, "Bly, you are compassionate, something which Kaminoans can't understand why a soldier would need to be. But one day, when you're out in the field, you'll be able to use this skill to work together with those who are outside the _vod_ to your success." Under the praise of his _buir,_ Cody could tell Bly was sitting up straighter, holding his chin higher than he had seen it in a long time.

Jango turned to Grey, smiling when he saw the cadet still trying to blend to the wall. " _Grey'ika_ , your adaptability is remarkable. Kaminoans may call it weak-willed, but I think adaptability is a better word. Sometimes it's better to bend and work around the wind, then try to stand up to it and break." After Jango looked away, Cody could see the usually straight-faced cadet upturn his lips, every so slightly. 

And last, Jango looked towards Cody. "Kote, having a _paklalat_ , a gift for words, is nothing to be ashamed of. Though the way of the Mandalorian is of physical strength, there are some battles only words can win. I hope you will one day be able to serve alongside someone who can appreciate that talent as much as they do your skill with a blaster."

Cody felt a blush rise to his face. His _buir_ was never this kind to them. Maybe all this talk of _runiriduur_ was making Jango - dare he think it - sentimental. 

"...and yes," Jango added, almost reluctantly, "I did have a _runiriduur_. She was _mirdala, kandosii, mesh'la..._ a strong, cunning warrior, and beautiful to boot. She brought color to my world, and while she was alive, I would've done - and did - anything for her." He paused and looked at his clenched fist. "When she was killed, and my colors faded, I felt... _shuk'la._ I thought the world had ended."

Jango then looked up and leveled them with a stare so intense that Cody was struck by the sudden whiplash. "No matter the _aaray_ , your _sal'e_ are worth it. Do not let the _kaminiise_ take away that which makes you individuals. If you find a _riduur_ , hold on to them with all you have. And if you do lose them? _Mando'ad draar digu_."

A Mandalorian never forgets.

The four cadets looked at each other for a brief moment, then sat up into attention and shouted "Sir, yes sir!"

Jango huffed as he looked over them. " _Ner di'kuut'ike_ , you all are too like me for your own good." To that, Cody couldn't help but grin.

Just then, Wolffe returned with Gregor, who stood nervously behind the older cadet. Gregor was part of the batch that had recently been decanted, and didn't know Jango very well yet.

The older man looked at the cadet, not unkindly, and beckoned him to come join them on the floor. "So, Gregor, I hear you got a _sal_ today."

Gregor looked nervously up at Wolffe, who nodded, before turning his gaze over to Jango. "Y-yes, sir."

"It's okay, _ad'ika_ , you can call me _buir_."

With that, Gregor relaxed a bit, a slow smile overcoming his face. He then began explaining what happened earlier - going to the 'fresher, running into Wolffe, suddenly seeing _get'al_ , and having no idea what was going on.

As Jango explained what he told Kad'la squad earlier, Cody found his thoughts drifting elsewhere. _Do I have a_ runiriduur _out there? Will they care that I'm a clone, that I look identical to hundreds if not thousands of others? How will we complete each other?_

_Will I be able to hold onto them, and never let my colors fade?_

~~

Cody stared at himself in the mirror, _ve'vut_ eyes bright in the harsh lighting of the 'fresher. Since that day four and a half years earlier, there had been a handful of other clones whom he had heard had gotten colors. Only _kar'ta riduur_ , though - he didn't know anyone with a _runiriduur_.

Until now.

For a moment his world felt incredibly small - how could he possibly expect to hide this from the Kaminoans? What happens if that man, his... _soulmate_...ends up reporting him to long-necks?

What if he can never find the man again?

The questions were whipping through Cody's mind, each leaving a larger stain of doubt across his thoughts. For a moment, he desperately wished for one of his squadmates to walk through the door so he could have someone, anyone to talk to. But he knew that confiding in his brothers would only put them in danger - something he would never allow happen to his _vod_.

With no one else to turn to, Cody decided he’d take a leaf from his younger self’s book. He went to ask his _buir._

Exiting the barracks, Cody felt the same nervous energy he did during the earlier inspection. With every clone, droid, and Kaminoan that passed him in the hallway, he was sure that they could somehow tell that he had received his colors. Logically, he knew that there was no physical mark that appeared when it happened. But that didn't stop the worst-case scenario from running through his head.

 _Only a few more hallways,_ Cody thought. He was glad to have seen his _buir_ earlier at the mess, there was no telling when he would be on Kamino anymore.

After a year and a half of staying with the _vod_ on Kamino, Jango started to pick up bounty hunter jobs again. Boba was - according to him - old enough, and staying in one place was hard for someone so used to being on the move.

Cody would never say it out loud, but he missed the days of regularly seeing his _buir._

Rounding the corner, Cody almost sighed with relief when he spotted the familiar door to Jango's quarters. He pressed the button on the side that acted as a bell. But, instead of ringing, the door opened. Stepping inside, Cody couldn't help the shiver of foreboding that shot down his spine. And when he got a good look around, he stopped in his tracks. His worst fear was confirmed.

The apartment was empty.

Not empty as in, there was no Jango and Boba, but empty as in there was nothing left. No clothing in the closet, no cushions in the main room, no caf machine in the corner that had been ever-present and ever-running. The slight gray shade in the room, which had once brought much comfort to the clone, now only looked dreary and bleak.

Jango was gone, and Cody didn't know who to turn to.

He barely even remembered making the trip back to his barracks, marching the entire way on autopilot. Thankfully, none of his squadmates had returned from their rec time, and Cody could sit in the quiet.

In the silence, Jango's advice from years ago echoed through Cody's head. No matter the _aaray_ , the _sal’e_ would be worth it.

 _Is it_ _though?_ The thought flitted unfettered across Cody's thoughts.

For a moment, he felt a piece of his heart ache for the soulmate he would likely never get to know. Cody wasn't stupid, he knew that, in whatever war he and his brothers would be deployed in, there wasn't a high likelihood of survival. His _runiriduur_ would see his colors fade, and Cody would never even know his name.

It was easy to lose himself in the despair and hopelessness. And, if Cody was anyone else, he likely wouldn't have been able to find his way back out.

But he was CC-2224, a clone commander with the highest tactical and analytical scores on record at Kamino, potentially slated for commanding an entire battalion. If there was one thing Cody knew, it was that he didn't give up for anything.

Golden eyes steeling with resolve, Cody stood up straight. _I do not know who that man was,_ _but I will find him,_ he vowed. _Mando'ad draar digu_.

To the empty room, to no one and yet also to the universe, Cody poured all the conviction he could into his next words. " _Ret'urcye mhi, ner runiriduur."_

_May we meet again, my soulmate._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading chapter two! This part completely ran away from me - I expected to write just a short little Cody interlude (a coda, perhaps), but here we are.
> 
> Quick notes. I know Jango might seem a little OOC here, but that's for two reasons. A) I'm a sucker for soft Jango (esp calling Cody _Kote_ ), and B) with the strong Mandalorian emphasis on family and clan, I can't imagine Jango didn't feel SOMETHING for his boys. Anyways, that's my hc and I'm sticking to it.
> 
> Again, a huge thanks to my _vod_ for all the support with this fic. Especially Scribbles, who I honestly couldn't do this without. Be sure to check them out at robinplaystrumpet15 and their fic series obiwanthetherapistkenobi!
> 
> Feel free to come and say hi on tumblr (whollyjoly)!
> 
> Mando'a translations:  
>  _kebiin_ \- blue  
>  _get'al_ \- red  
>  _aroa'yr_ \- silver  
>  _saviin_ \- violet  
>  _kad'la_ \- sharp  
>  _aliit_ \- family, clan, tribe  
>  _ve'vut_ \- gold  
>  _haar'chak_ \- damn it  
>  _buir_ \- parent  
>  _jate_ \- good  
>  _di'kuut_ \- idiot  
>  _adi'ka_ \- little one/son  
>  _tal'yayc_ \- orange (fun fact: this doesn't exist in mando'a! I basically combined red and yellow to make this word)  
>  _udesii_ \- calm down, relax, take it easy  
>  _sal, sal'e_ \- color, colors  
>  _ori'vod_ \- big brother  
>  _runiriduur_ \- combination of " _runi_ " meaning soul (poetically), and " _riduur_ " meaning partner. for this fic, they've been combined to mean soulmate  
>  _jetii_ \- Jedi  
>  _ne'tra_ \- black  
>  _cin_ \- white  
>  _kar'ta riduur_ \- combination of " _kar'ta_ " meaning heart and " _riduur_ " meaning partner. for this fic, they've been combined to refer to a platonic soulmate  
>  _paklalat_ \- gift of the gab; silver tongue  
>  _mirdala_ \- clever  
>  _kandosii_ \- indomitable, ruthless  
>  _mesh'la_ \- beautiful  
>  _shuk'la_ \- fragmented, broken, crushed  
>  _aaray_ \- pain  
>  _kaminiise_ \- Kaminoans  
>  _Mando'ad draar digu_ \- a Mandalorian never forgets  
>  _ner di'kuut'ika_ \- my little idiots (fond)  
>  _ret'urcye mhi_ \- goodbye/may we meet again  
>  _ner runiriduur_ \- my soulmate
> 
> See you next time!


	3. Obi-wan - Geonosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Clone Wars Friday!
> 
> Disclaimer: some dialogue is lifted from Attack of the Clones. I do not own this, and all credit for those lines go to Lucasfilm.

Flying away from Kamino was a lot harder than Obi-wan imagined.

The warm pull in the Force that he now knew belonged to his soulmate, his _cèile anam_ , pulsed stronger and stronger as he flew through the atmosphere and prepared for the jump to hyperspace. If he didn't know any better, he would say the Force was protesting his leaving. Typically, Jedi are taught to follow their instincts and listen to the Force, no matter where it takes you. Obi-wan wasn't sure that ditching an important mission to go after your soulmate was exactly what those lessons had in mind, however.

He knew he had to go after the bounty hunter, no matter what the Force seemed to tell him otherwise.

"I know what I'm doing," Obi-wan sighed to himself. _I hope._

[Is Friend-Kenobi okay?] R4 trilled back to the Jedi.

"Yes, R4, I'm fine. Follow the coordinates of the tracking beacon and make the jump whenever you are ready."

[Affirmative, Friend-Kenobi!] R4 responded, before activating the hyperspace drive.

Obi-wan couldn’t have prepared himself for the pain that shot down his spine as they made the jump. 

The pull back to his soulmate seemed to stretch thin and snap back instantaneously, causing such a strong wave in the Force that Obi-wan felt as if he had just been struck by an electro-whip. He gritted his teeth and tried to breathe through the pain as best he could.

It faded just as soon as it began. The Force seemed to settle around Obi-wan in a disappointed hum, leaving the Jedi with a sizable migraine. The warm pulse, though more faint than it had been since landing on Kamino, was still there, leaving the slight weight of a presence that Obi-wan had not noticed before.

_Kriff. I guess the Force is serious about me having a soulmate._

A part of Obi-wan knew he should be panicking a lot more than he was about the prospect of having a soulmate. In a way, it was reinforcing every doubt that Obi-wan had ever had about not being good enough to be a Jedi - the cardinal rule of the Order was that any being who had a soulmate could not be trained. The temptation of attachment was too strong and the risk of falling to the dark side was too great. 

If anyone in the Order were to find out that Obi-wan didn't just have a platonic mate, but a _true soulmate,_ he would be expelled immediately. If that happened, what would happen to Anakin? He too was prone to attachment, Obi-wan had always been able to sense it. He knew that if he were expelled, it could be the final straw to cause Anakin to turn on the Council for good. He had always worked so hard to be the perfect Jedi role model for Anakin, both father and brother, and this could shatter their relationship irreparably.

Obi-wan knew he should be more worried about what this means for the future, yet an odd sort of calm settled over him as he focused on the warm presence in the back of his mind.

A part of him had always known he was different and didn't quite fit into the Order in the way that other Jedi did. He knew it on Melida/Daan. He knew it when he met Satine. He knew it every time he looked at a rainbow and saw a gray stripe running down the center. Most importantly, he knew it the instant he looked into the eyes of the clone on Kamino. 

The concept of a true soulmate had always been foreign to Obi-wan. It was a thing other people had - love and affection were emotions that other people could feel. Were _allowed_ to feel.

But now, for the first time, Obi-wan could contemplate what it might mean to have someone who's soul completed his own. And that someone, apparently, was a clone.

A clone with dark hair, golden eyes, and a Force signature unlike any he had ever felt.

Obi-wan felt a pang of grief and disappointment strike through his heart. He wasn't disappointed that his soulmate was a clone - not at all. Rather, the grief was _for_ his _cèile anam_ , who was grown to be no more than cannon fodder, and the disappointment was for the fact that it was a Jedi who put him in that position.

On one hand, without a Jedi going against the code and creating an army, Obi-wan may never have known he had a soulmate. On the other hand, it was because of his Order that his soulmate was enslaved to fight and die for the Republic.

Though the Order was supposed to follow and protect the Force, the two had never felt so opposed. The Force had given him the gift of a soulmate, only for the Order to endanger him and expel Obi-wan if they ever found out the truth.

_Is there any way for this to go well?_

Cursing silently, Obi-wan tried to find a more comfortable position in his seat and attempted to meditate. He felt unbalanced, and desperately needed to realign his connection to the Force. Obi-wan closed his eyes and reached out with his mind, grimacing when the sharp pain of his migraine made it almost impossible. Obi-wan sighed, frustrated, and gave up on reaching any sort of inner peace through meditation.

 _Well_ , he mused, _sleep will have to do_.

Drained physically from the battle with Jango and mentally from both finding and leaving his soulmate, the Jedi drifted off to a dreamless sleep almost instantly.

Far too soon for his liking, R4 trilled a series of beeps signifying that the bounty hunter had dropped out of hyperspace.

Obi-wan grumbled awake, wishing desperately for a cup of tea, and began preparing himself for whatever the Force might throw at him next.

~

In one moment, he was staring at Dooku through the ray shield that was holding him captive, and in the next, he was blinking awake in the bright sun. Obi-wan's first thought was that, with his arms chained above his head, the Count and the Geonosians had nothing good planned for him.

His second thought was towards the deafening wall of sound that hit Obi-wan as soon as he gained consciousness. The roaring of crowds reinforced the idea that he was in for some trouble.

Obi-wan's third thought, as he opened his eyes, was _orange_.

He thought he had seen the brightest orange while looking at the sunset on Tatooine or biting into the aurilian fruit of Dathomir. Nothing could have prepared Obi-wan for the bright onslaught of color that hit him under the oppressive sun, reminding him just how much he had missed before he found his soulmate.

That line of thinking was quickly cut off when the Jedi recognized his padawan and Senator Amidala being led into what he now recognized to be an arena.

Obi-wan sighed, realizing that he really, _really_ , should have known better than to expect Anakin to stay behind on Naboo.

"I was beginning to wonder if you got my message," he said to Anakin, half-disappointed and half-resigned.

"I retransmitted it just as you requested, Master," Anakin responded. After a short pause, looking sheepish, he continued, "then, we decided to come and rescue you."

"Good job." Obi-wan was unable, or, perhaps, unwilling to remove the sarcasm from his tone.

Suddenly, a roar from the crowd sent a spike of unease down Obi-wan's spine. The Force energy in the arena was laced with darkness as the Geonosians cheered with bloodlust. And on the opposite side from where the three of them were chained up, Obi-wan could see what they were calling for.

An acklay, a reek, and a nexu had been brought into the arena.

Obi-wan couldn't help but grimace. None of these creatures were known to be particularly friendly.

As the acklay approached the pillar he was chained up to, the Jedi took a half-second to appreciate how vibrant the blue-green of its shell was, something that Obi-wan couldn't have noticed before. That appreciation was gone in a flash however, as it let out a screech that sent a momentary flash of panic through him.

Taking a breath, Obi-wan gathered that feeling and released it to the Force. It wouldn't do to get distracted now, not when Anakin and Padme were relying on him.

"Just relax," he found himself saying to his padawan, "concentrate."

"What about Padme?" Anakin responded.

 _You really need to learn how to control your emotions and hide your attachments_ , Obi-wan didn't say.

"She seems to be on top of things," he replied instead.

Before either of them could say anything else, the acklay was on Obi-wan in an instant. 

Dodging the dizzying flash of blue claws as best he could, he hoped that Anakin and Padme would be able to take care of themselves should this go horribly wrong. Obi-wan had faith in himself, and in his padawan, but the constant _thwack_ of razor-sharp claws hitting the ground mere inches away forced him to contemplate the worst.

For a moment, the golden gaze of the clone on Kamino flashed across the Jedi's mind, surprising himself. He could still feel the warm pulse thrum under his skin, as if to say _keep moving, stay alive, you can do this_ in every close call with the acklay's claws.

The rest of the fight was a blur - one second, Obi-wan snatched a spear from a Geonosian guard, managing to get a good hit on the acklay, and the next the creature spit it out like it was nothing. One moment, he had joined Anakin and Padme on the back of the reek, only to be then surrounded by battle droids. 

Judging by the roar from the Geonosians, this was to be their final stand. 

A feeling of serenity passed over him - if this was it, then he would not be afraid. Obi-wan reached out into the Force, hoping to feel the warm pulse of his soulmate one last time before he, his padawan, and the senator were gunned down.

But what he found instead were dozens of serene oases of Force energy, rippling out and undercutting the bloodthirst of the screaming crowds.

The Jedi had arrived. 

The feeling of reckless hope was short-lived, however. Obi-wan saw thousands of droids pour into the arena, swarming the Jedi. One of his fellow masters threw him a lightsaber, and suddenly, the fight was back on.

The battle seemed to wage for an eternity. Obi-wan lost track of how many droids he had taken out, and yet there were still more appearing every second. Worse, though they had seemingly made no dent in the droid army, Obi-wan could feel the losses of his fellow Jedi around him.

Every time one fell, it was as if a hole was punched through the fabric of the force. Each time was a moment of deafening screaming, and then silence. 

The adrenaline from the battle paired with the Force grieving at the loss of life distracted Obi-wan enough that he didn't feel the growing warmth in the back of his head. All he was able to focus on was deflecting blaster bolt after blaster bolt, hoping that he could protect his fellow Jedi from the quickly closing droids as best he could.

But then, in the moment where Count Dooku ordered all the droids to hold their fire, the pulse was strong enough to hit Obi-wan like a ton of bricks. He staggered, trying to regain his balance as the pull grew warmer and warmer with each passing heartbeat.

_What the kriff could the Force possibly want from me now?_

Obi-wan was answered by the sound of gunships overhead, and the feeling of a thousand muted lights swept over the arena. A thousand muted lights, and one golden breeze.

 _Oh_ , Obi-wan recognized with a growing sense of right and completion overtaking him in the Force, _my soulmate is here_.

Then,

 _Oh,_ Obi-wan thought as he grimly realized that he was in the middle of a bleak battle that had already seen the deaths of dozens of his fellow Jedi, _my soulmate is here_.

Before he could think further, Obi-wan was dragged towards one of the gunships, and soon enough, he, Padme, and Anakin were flown away. Not to safety, but into a fully-fledged war. 

_How did we get here? To war? So quickly?_ Obi-wan reflected, frowning at the strong sense of death that had suddenly come over the Force surrounding them.

These clones, these lights in the Force, were being snuffed out like matches in a strong wind. They had been created to die, and now every cell in Obi-wan's body sung with grief each time one of them fulfilled that purpose. _What could this all be for?_

It took Obi-wan a couple moments to be able to center himself in the middle of so much violence. The Jedi were trained to be peacekeepers, and this feeling of war was unlike anything Obi-wan had experienced. Not since Melida/Daan.

He typically did not dwell on thoughts of that period, but for the first time in fifteen years, he used that experience to clear his mind. Obi-wan took a deep breath in, collected all the negative energy he could, and expelled it out into the force. 

_In, out. In, out._

It didn't completely restore his inner balance, but the technique helped clear his thoughts a little.

Only then did he notice that the pulse, which had been consistent since landing on Kamino, had turned into a warm hum.

This hum felt settled, steady. Where the pulse from before had felt like a rubber band, stretching and receding and unable to find its stable state, this felt like the pull of gravity, creating balance between two objects that were in perfect orbit. Obi-wan found himself instinctively turning in search for the source of the hum.

Standing behind him on the gunship, not twenty feet away, a clone trooper was staring at Obi-wan. 

Even with the helmet, even without being able to see the trooper's face, Obi-wan knew it was his soulmate. His _cèile anam._ Despite being in the middle of a warzone, they had found each other. 

Obi-wan reached out a hand towards the trooper, opening his mouth to say something - _anything_ \- when a blaster from a pursuing speeder rocked the gunship. In the blink of an eye, Padme and the trooper ( _his trooper_ ) fell onto the sand below. 

"PADME!" Anakin yelled, desperate, reaching out to save the senator. Obi-wan looked out into the desert, horrified, as a pain like ripping off a bacta patch swept over him.

 _Cèile anam!_ Obi-wan shook from the pain he felt through the Force, sounding just as distraught in his head as Anakin did. 

"Put the ship down!" Anakin insisted, voice almost pleading.

Obi-wan hesitated, looking at the landscape quickly moving under their feet. A piece of him ached to agree with his padawan, desperately wanting to turn the ship around to find his soulmate and keep him safe. But as much as it pained him, he knew his duty as a Jedi.

"Anakin, don't let your personal feelings get in the way!" _Nor can I let mine_. Turning to the cockpit, Obi-wan yelled, "Follow that speeder!" 

"Lower the ship!" Anakin looked like he was about to jump out the ship himself, eyes wild with panic and emotions so strong Obi-wan had to actively shield himself from his padawan. In that moment, he realized with a jolt that Padme was Anakin's soulmate. He now understood how it felt and could recognize the similar pain.

"I can't take Dooku alone, I need you! If we catch him, we can end this war right now." Obi-wan paused to take a breath, needing to control his own internal conflict. "We have a job to do." _Please Anakin, this hurts me too_. 

"I don't care! Put the ship down!"

"You will be expelled from the Jedi Order!" _Trust me Anakin, I understand your pain. Please don't make it harder for both of us than it has to be._

"I can't leave her!" 

Obi-wan had enough. Half talking to Anakin, and half trying to convince himself, Obi-wan said, "Come to your senses! What do you think Padme would do were she in your position?" _What would my soulmate, a soldier, do?_

Anakin paused, looking away from Obi-wan. "She would do her duty." _And so would he._

He looked at his padawan, who was frantically trying to control his runaway emotions. The Jedi wished he could say all the things he couldn't, wished that Anakin would understand that they were more alike that he would ever believe. But for now, he couldn't. For now, they had a job to do.

Obi-wan looked out in the direction his soulmate fell. _I must do my duty_ , cèile anam.

~

The battle with Dooku was a painful reminder of just how powerful the dark side could be.

Obi-wan knew he had to stand, knew he had to help Yoda, or get out of the way of the falling pillar or stop Dooku's ship or _something_. But he couldn't. All he could do, as his master's master battled his master's grandmaster, was watch.

Slowly, using the Force, Obi-wan was able to heal himself enough to the point that he could move slightly. He was dizzy, yes, and it felt like the floor was moving in a thousand different directions, but he had to do something. By then, however, Dooku was already gone. 

In the next moment, there was a flurry of activity. Padme rushed into the room, running to Anakin's side. Yoda picked up his cane and limped over to the nearest clone commander. And there, on the other side of the room, a trooper was staring at Obi-wan.

Like he had known before, on the gunship, Obi-wan knew without a doubt that this was his soulmate.

Obi-wan attempted to stand up, slowly, painfully. His side pulled uncomfortably around his ribs, and distantly he recognized that some were broken. A small hitch caught in his throat as the Jedi took a shallow breath in, forcing his legs to push himself upwards. The trooper made an aborted movement, as if he had wanted to come and help the Jedi before training kicked in and told him to stay at his post. The clone did tilt his head, ever so slightly, in a questioning manner that Obi-wan knew without a doubt was his way of asking if he was alright. Finally upright, Obi-wan sent a slight reassuring smile back towards the man, hoping it didn't come off as a grimace.

It didn't matter that they were fifteen yards away, or that a helmet obscured the trooper's face, or that there were a dozen other people in the room. Though it was simply a questioning gaze and a small returning smile, in that moment of connection - of recognition - Obi-wan felt the Force _sing_.

He felt the same warmth as he had on Kamino, but deeper and more secure. The Jedi looked at this being and instinctively knew that he belonged next to him. He knew he could trust this man with his life, with his soul, and they would both be the better for it. He looked at his soulmate, his _cèile anam,_ and despite him looking identical to thousands of others in white armor, Obi-wan only saw gold.

He had never had a home, but looking across the room at this trooper, he thought that this is what it might feel like. Obi-wan had never seen anything more beautiful, and he had never felt this scared.

Distantly, he heard Anakin and Padme calling after him. Obi-wan knew logically that he had to get his padawan to medical attention, but a not insignificant piece of him wanted to step forward and see just how this soul was supposed to complete his.

"Obi-wan, we need to leave!" Only the note of panic in Padme's voice could have broken the spell over the Jedi at that moment. Reality seeped into his gold-colored vision, and the frenzy in the room came back into focus. The current crisis reared its ugly head in Obi-wan's mind, reminding him of the situation. Count Dooku had escaped. His padawan lost an arm. They were at war. He was a Jedi, and Jedi couldn't have soulmates.

Obi-wan turned his head to look at the transport, knowing that he must soon follow, then back to his soulmate.

 _I'm so sorry,_ cèile anam, _but I must leave you again. Please forgive me._

Slowly, like he could hear the Jedi's thoughts, the trooper nodded his head as if to say, _I understand, go._

Obi-wan closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and boarded the transport.

_Will this always be our future?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Genosis! You consumed way more of this story than I expected!
> 
> A HUGE thank you to everyone who kudosed, bookmarked, or commented on this story! The feedback has been absolutley overwhelming and incredible, and it makes me so happy to write for you all.
> 
> Also, a great big shoutout to my vod, without whom this would not be happening. Scribbles, I have no idea what I'd do without you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
> 
> Come and say hi on tumblr (whollyjoly)!
> 
> Thanks again, and I'll see you in a couple days!


	4. Cody - Geonosis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings:
> 
> Warnings for mentions of death (we're in the clone wars now, buckle up), as well as mentions of a character experiencing extreme stress, a loss of appetite, and insomnia.
> 
> Also, Mando'a translations are in the end notes.

Cody first said his remembrances just two years after he had been decanted.

_Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum._

_Rain. Cam._

Two of Gregor's squadmates turned out to be _kar'ta riduur_. No one knew - not Gregor, not Jango, not anyone. They made it for a year and a half before one of them slipped.

It was a training session, a simple capture-the-flag drill. All the squads were watching, as well as all the trainers and a couple of Kaminoans too. The five of them were doing fairly well, progressing at a steady pace, when:

_"Cam! The green droid at your 9 o'clock!"_

_"I got it, Rain! Nice catch!"_

The drill stopped abruptly. Cody had watched as a Kaminoan surrounded by medical droids walked into the arena. Without another word, the two cadets were dragged away. Cody watched as Gregor started to run after them, but the two other members of his squad held him back.

They never saw Rain and Cam again.

That evening, Jango had gathered the remainder of Gregor's squad with Kad'la in his apartment, and taught them the remembrance ceremony.

_I am still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal._

Over the rest of his time on Kamino, Cody only added a few more. 

_Rain. Cam. Herbert. Bricker. Badger. Gonzo._

As he stood on Geonosis, shoulder-to-shoulder with hundreds of his _vode_ surrounding a funeral pyre three meters high, the sheer number of names overwhelmed him.

_...Cricket. CT-987. Dumbo. Tric. CT-645. Nox. Locket. Coil. Zo. Grudii..._

Cody didn't even recognize a quarter of the clones that were being remembered, but he couldn't help but feel the overwhelming grief that accompanied each one. Behind every name was a brother, and within every brother was a snuffed out possibility for life. It didn't matter if they had never crossed paths - they were _vode_ , they were _aliit_ , and Cody would remember them. 

_... Eddi. Thiv. Nitt. Ink. CT-916. Pocket. Kad. Senaar. Kevin. CC-353. Disk. Benn..._

He had been built for war, _grown_ to carry on battle after battle, only focusing on the result and not the casualty list. 

_...Chains. Slon. Brake. Prongs. Beat. CT-52-7984. Fangs. Goore. Condor. Nadala..._

Yet here Cody was, no longer a shiny but a veteran of his first battle, and the grief felt like it was going to swallow him whole. 

_...CC-454. Wire. Hurg. Nas. Bugs. Fog. Nench. CT-0979. Burster. Dro. Crash..._

He distantly wondered how many _vode_ lost their _riduure_ today - whether they had found each other or not. Each life snuffed out left another piece of armor unmatched to their partners. 

_...Orar. Sett. Shawn. CT-1293. Beviln. Armo. Abesh. James. Syd. Copper. Jaig..._

Slowly, the names of brothers trickled to a stop. There was a pause, heavy over the cackling pyre. Cody stood stock-still, mesmerized by the twisting flames. _Ge'tal, tal'yayc, shi'yayc,_ the colors all dancing together as they rose high into the pitch _ne'tra_ of the Geonosian night.

Cody realized there was one more name to say. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, pouring all of his emotion - both sorrow and rage - into his voice, he spoke.

"Jango."

Saying his name during the remembrance ceremony was what finally made it real. 

Cody thought back to the last time he had talked to Jango, a fortnight before. Kad’la Squad was sprawled over Jango’s floor cushions, collapsed after a particularly hard training drill. Cody was quietly sipping caf, Boba's head resting on his lap, as the rest of his squad snored in a pile. Jango had come and sat with him, looking half-fond at the mess of clones in his apartment.

 _“You’re good to them, Kote,”_ he had said, putting a hand on Cody's shoulder. _“They’re lucky to have someone like you to be strong for them.”_

Cody hadn’t known what to say at the time. Now he wished that he could’ve asked how someone can be strong when the person they’ve looked up to their whole life is gone.

There would be no one to give Cody late-night tips on the blaster range, long after he should've retired to his barracks. No one to sneak him caf when he went over his daily allotment. No one to tell them stories of bounties gone wrong, or legends of Mandalore. 

No one who would put a warm hand on his shoulder and call him _Kote_.

His _buir_ \- all their _buir_ \- was gone.

Cody opened his eyes. He saw Wolffe and Gregor a little farther down the circle, leaning in towards each other. Wolffe had an arm around Gregor's shoulder, silent tears down his face. Cody saw Thire and Grey, a little ways to their right, who both looked incredibly pale even in the flickering firelight. Next to them were clones from the newest batch - they had only been decanted three years ago, and were far too young to be on the battlefield. Some of them were failing to muffle their sobs, while others couldn't bear to look into the blazing pyre. Bly was to Cody's left. Looking down, he could see his squadmate's hands were shaking.

With so many of their brothers gone and their _buir_ not there to look after them, the feeling of loss was overwhelming.

Without warning, Cody thought of his soulmate. For a second, a pang of guilt struck through him. Here he was, at the remembrance ceremony for thousands of his _vode_ , and all he could think about was his _runiriduur_. A man who, by all logic, Cody should’ve reported as his soulmate the moment they met. According to the _kaminiise,_ he was...a traitor.

But he couldn’t keep himself on that train of thought for long. 

His _runiriduur_ , who against all the odds, he found not once but _twice_ in the midst of battle. The man whose eyes glowed _kebiin_ against the dusty _tal’yayc_ of Geonosis. He remembered the moment they looked at each other, Cody’s bucket notwithstanding, and acknowledged each other in the midst of chaos and sorrow and turmoil.

His _runiriduur_ had looked at him, and despite being bruised and dusty from his trials on this planet, he was the most beautiful thing Cody had ever seen.

When Cody thinks of that moment, he couldn’t help but think of the words he heard so long ago. _Jango’s_ words. _No matter the_ aaray _, the_ sal’e _would be worth it._

Cody raised his chin. The funeral pyre crackled in the still air. Smoke obscured the night sky, creating an eerie centerpiece among the grieving clones. The temperature of the Geonosian desert alone was hot, with the added fire it was almost suffocating. But the surge of heat from the flames lit a strength inside Cody that he didn't know he had.

He might have lost his _runiriduur_ and his _buir_ on the same day, but Cody still had his _vode_ , and he wasn’t about to let them go.

 _If Jango isn't here to be strong for my brothers, someone else has to be._

It didn't matter if the grief he felt clawing at his heart was unbearable, or if he just wanted to run and hide and scream at the galaxy for taking his _aliit_ away.

It didn't matter if his soul felt like it had cracked in two after he watched his _runiriduur_ walk away.

Cody thought of Jango’s last words, and vowed to himself - and the ghosts of those who were marching on - that he would always be strong for his _vode_.

_Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la._

~

The clones kept vigil over the funeral pyre until dawn. As the sun broke across the desert of Geonosis, it was as if a spell was broken, and basecamp came alive with activity.

Cody barely had a moment of rest in the days following.

There were more permanent barracks that needed building, supplies that needed cataloging, and wounded that needed tending. There were incoming troops to be briefed, cannons to be tested, and shell-shocked _vode'ika_ to comfort. 

He worked and he worked, resting only for the briefest naps, and sneaking more caf than was considered healthy when the cooks who cut him off weren't looking.

 _If Jango isn't here to be strong for my brothers, someone else has to be._

Cody repeated it like a mantra, remembering the vow he had made. It was easier said than done.

Bly was the first to notice that something was wrong.

On the fifth night after the remembrance ceremony, Cody was salvaging parts from a downed gun ship a click away from basecamp. Most of the troopers were at the mess, leaving the desert quiet in the fading sunset. 

Cody had climbed to the top of the overturned gunship, fatigue making it harder than usual to balance, and peered into the dark below. Through the spots in his vision, he spotted a couple blasters. They looked sandy, perhaps, but nothing that a quick oil bath wouldn't take care of.

He prepared to lower himself down when a spell of dizziness hit him. The world titled, shifting slightly around him as his vision narrowed to the spots dancing in front of his eyes. His foot slipped, plunging him downward.

 _Oh, haar'chak_ , he thought as he started to fall into the empty space of the gunship below.

Suddenly, a hand darted out to grab his arm. Cody watched as the ground stopped coming towards him, and it took him a half-second longer than it should have to realize that someone had caught him.

Belatedly, he looked up to see Bly leaning over the edge, arm holding Cody's, and looking incredibly concerned. "I got you, _vod,_ " his squadmate said as he started to haul his brother back to the top of the ship.

With an embarrassing amount of effort, they managed to pull him up. Once over, Cody collapsed flat on his back and looked up at the stars. He tried - and failed - to cover up exactly how much exertion that maneuver took. 

"Thanks," he panted.

"No problem," Bly responded.

They were quiet for a moment. Geonosian cicadas chirped somewhere in the distance, filling the silence.

"So...you want to tell me what's going on?"

Cody looked over at Bly, grimacing when that caused little spots to dance in his vision again. "...I don't know what you mean."

Bly raised an eyebrow. "Right. You were just going to casually work yourself to death, not eat, not sleep, and hope no one noticed?"

Cody looked away from his squadmate, back up to the sky. He...didn't know how to answer that.

He didn't know how to tell Bly that he didn't want to eat in case they ran out of rations, so he let the younger troopers have his portion. 

He didn't know how to talk about the fact that every time he fell asleep, he would sometimes see the bodies of his brothers, armor bright white against the red-stained desert. Other times, he would see the broken body of his _runiriduur_ , lifeless eyes bleeding out color, until he could no longer see _kebiin_.

He wasn't _trying_ to work himself to death, he just... 

...wanted, no, _needed_ to be strong for his _vode'ika_. He had promised Jango.

And he needed to be strong for his _runiriduur_. He had promised himself.

The silence stretched on, longer this time.

Bly sighed, soft. " _Ori'vod_ , we're going to have to do this again and again. This battle? It was worse that we could've imagined. Yes we were born for this, yes we were trained for this. But _prepared?_ " Bly looked up at the sky, orange glow across his face, "...I don't think we were. I know I wasn't."

He paused for a moment, then continued, "So, I know Cody. Of course I know." Cody looked over at him, puzzled. "We're clones, brothers, don't you think I get it too? But you- you can't bottle it up." Bly looked at Cody, brown eyes worried, and slightly red around the edges. "We need you too much for that."

Cody looked at his _vod'ika_. Bly had always been the thoughtful one, and only now did Cody realize just how much he had hurt the other man. He thought that he was being _strong_ by not letting his emotions show and working as hard as he could to compensate.

Instead, he was making his squadmate worried that he was going to lose him.

"I...I'm sorry, _Bly'ika_ ," Cody said, finally. "I- I didn't realize I was hurting you too."

"Yeah, well you were always a bit too stuck in your head for your own good," Bly teased. He sent a small smile Cody's way, showing that he was forgiven. "Now tell me what's really going through that brain of yours before I have to get Wolffe to beat it out of you."

Cody let out a snort. "Yeah, I'd like to see him try."

Bly didn't dignify that with a response and just raised an eyebrow at him.

Cody let out a small sigh and looked back up at the night sky. The sun had almost completely set, and the lights from six of the Geonosian moons glowed brightly, allowing them to see far into the desert. The moon Bahryn was directly over Cody, shining a familiar pale blue.

 _Kebiin_ , his mind whispered, as it so often had the past few days.

"Do you know what Jango's last words to me were?" Cody said at last.

Bly shook his head.

"He said, _they’re lucky to have someone like you to be strong for them._ " Cody paused, taking a breath. "I stood in that remembrance ceremony, listening to the names of our brothers who had died, and seeing the grief that it cost those that were still alive, and I... I didn't know what to do."

Cody stopped. He closed his eyes, and saw the flames of the funeral pyre in his mind.

"You're right - the physical pain we were prepared for. But the pain I felt at that moment? From the suffering of my _vode_ all around me? I had no idea how to handle it. I _still_ don't." He felt a wet line trace down the edge of his cheek, and realized with a start that he was crying. He had _never_ cried before.

Cody brushed away the tears and continued, "Jango thought I was strong. He...he said you all were _lucky_ that I was so strong. How can I live up to that? How- how could he think I was strong when I could barely hold it together after my first battle?" He could barely see the sky through the tears anymore, but he kept going, "I don't even have the strength to face myself in the mirror, or face the things I see in my dreams. How can I be strong for all my _vode_ too?" 

His voice cracked as he said, "So I've been working, and working, and doing my duty to the Republic because that is what I was _made_ for and because I don't know what else to do."

Silence fell between the two of them once more, only broken by Cody's silent sobs as he tried to get his breathing under control. After a few moments, his breath evened out.

"Well, _ori'vod_ , that's a load of banthashit."

Cody sat up in shock, staring at his squadmate's face. Bly wasn't looking at him, instead looking out into the desert.

"...I'm sorry?"

"I _said_ ," Bly repeated, "that's a load of banthashit."

Cody had no idea how to respond, just stared at Bly, bewildered.

His squadmate sighed, then turned to look at him. " _Ori'vod_ , we're strong when we're _together_. _Vode an_ , remember?"

_Brothers all._

"Yeah, but-"

"No buts, Cody. We were grown together. We were trained together. We fought together, and we will keep fighting together. When things go rough, how do we deal with them?"

"...together," Cody muttered.

" _Ni serim!_ We deal with it together! We're _aliit_ \- it's what we do! We don't need you to be strong _for_ us, _di'kuut_ , we need you to be strong _with_ us." 

Cody had...never thought of it like that before. Logically, he had always known that he and his squad were in it together. But, he had always thought of it as _him_ needing to support _them_ , not _them_ all supporting _each other_.

Bly continued, "The way you can do that, _ori'vod_ , is by talking to us, your squadmates. Then you would have realized that we were all struggling and questioning our role in a war we don’t know much about, that we all missed Jango, and we were all searching for ways to help support our _vod'ika_. Maybe now, we can figure this out together, instead of watching you suffer while you fail to figure it out on your own."

Bly let out a big breath, and muttered. " _Gar mirsh solus_ , for kriff's sake."

Cody let out a huff at that, recognizing that the insult was more than likely deserved.

Maybe... he did need to get out of his head more. Jango would probably bash his helmet in if he saw how much Cody had retreated these past few days.

 _Kriff. I guess he's right_.

"...Hey Bly?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you become so smart?"

Bly looked at Cody out of the corner of his eye and sent him a small smile. "Why, by watching my _ori'vod_ , of course."

His squadmate tactfully didn't comment when he saw Cody wipe another tear off his face.

~

The two of them silently sat out on the gunship for another hour, watching the stars come out, until Bly announced that he had better get Cody back before the rest of Kad'la sent a search party after them.

It took Cody an embarrassing amount of time and energy to get down from the top, missing his footing on the landing and almost face-planting. If it wasn't for his squadmate catching him again, he would’ve. They eventually made their way back to camp, Cody grateful that Bly didn't comment on his slow pace. 

They wound their way through basecamp, and Cody found himself silently absorbing the chatter of his brothers around them. He hadn't put his finger on it before but he...missed the company of his brothers. Looking at Bly through the corner of his eye, a small smile made its way across Cody's face. He was lucky, he knew, that his squadmates were just as stubborn as he was.

As they rounded around a corner, they found themselves stopped in front of the tent Kad'la Squad had been assigned. Wolffe was blocking the entrance, arms crossed and a scowl on his face. Thire and Grey stood on either side, creating a vaguely menacing sight.

Cody swallowed, but made himself stand up straight and stare at them head-on. He brought this upon himself, and would deal with whatever _osik_ the rest of his squadmates would give him.

He would never admit that he almost looked away when Wolffe gave his best glare back.

"Well Bly," the older clone growled, "did you talk some sense into the _di'kuut_?"

"Eh, enough," Bly shrugged.

Wolffe stepped forward up to Cody, somehow making his glare even harsher. "Good. Maybe now he'll stop being such a _mir'osik_."

Cody knew he had been an ass, but this was a bit too far. He shot back, " _Ne'johaa_ , Wolffe!"

Wolffe grinned, all teeth, and leaned into Cody's face until they were almost nose-to-nose. "Yeah, well _k'atini_ , _Cod'ika_!"

Cody grinned in response, then launched himself at the clone, trying to wrestle Wolffe's head under his arm like the other had done so many times before. But Cody didn't account for how weak he had become, and another wave of dizziness tore through him. Wolffe managed to catch him before he fell, expression softening with concern. Thire came up to support his other side, helping him inside. 

Typically, Cody would hate showing weakness in front of anyone - _especially_ his squadmates. But now, as they bickered quietly while leading him towards the blanket pile they made in the middle of the tent, hard feelings forgotten? He couldn't bring himself to be annoyed.

They set him down in the center of the blankets, practically tucking him in. Somehow, Grey had managed to sneak three portions of rations, and handed them to Cody without a word.

"...no, Wolffe, I refuse to sleep next to you! I still have bruises from the last time you kicked me in your sleep!"

"Aw, come on Thire, that just makes it more fun!"

"No! It decidedly does not!"

"Like you're one to talk, your feet are icicles!"

"Hey, blame the _Kaminiise_ for engineering me this way!"

Cody smiled softly as he nibbled on a ration bar. His _vode_ were a mess, but they were _his_ mess.

 _And_ , he thought as he drifted off to sleep, _maybe I'm their mess too_.

~

The next morning, Cody woke up in a pile of his snoring squadmates, Thire's foot in his face.

Though he was a bit too warm, his left arm asleep from being pinned under Wolffe, and his right leg somehow ending up outside of the blankets, Cody couldn't remember having a better night's sleep.

He didn't have a nightmare once.

Cody smiled to himself, trying to stretch without accidentally punching any of his brothers in the face. The weight of grief was still heavy on his chest - one conversation and a good night's sleep weren’t going to magically change that - but it felt a little less unbearable than it had before. Now, he realized he had his _aliit_ by his side.

Well, technically he _always_ had them there, he just didn't quite know what that kind of support had meant before.

Cody shifted a little, managing to push Thire's foot far enough away so the odor wasn't as stifling. He didn't want to wake his brothers just yet, they had barely had a moment's rest in over a week. The moment of peace, no matter how brief it would last, couldn't help but warm Cody's heart. Just a little. Not that he would ever admit it to them, of course.

Slowly, he turned his head to get a little more comfortable. He spotted Grey, eyes flickering open sleepily, a small smile appearing as he looked at Cody.

"Feeling better this morning?" Grey whispered.

Cody matched the expression on his squadmate's face. "A little, _vod'ika_. Thank you."

"There's nothing to thank me for, _ori'vod_."

A content silence passed over the two of them, punctuated by the snoring of their brothers.

"...Grey?"

"Yeah?"

"How'd you get your hands on three portions of rations?"

Grey's smile turned into a grin, just a little on the sharp side of friendly.

"That, Cody, is for me to know and you to never find out."

Cody opened his mouth to ask more, when a chime from his datapad punctuated the quiet, interrupting whatever line of questioning he was about to pursue. Then another, from Grey's, and then a couple more from the other datapads.

The noise caused Thire to jolt up, nearly kicking Cody in the face, and look around in a brief panic. He made eye contact with Cody, then looked at his now-blinking datapad, and then back to Cody, before ultimately collapsing back down into the blankets. Wolffe practically _growled_ at his squadmate's movement, and rolled over to shield himself from the light. Bly didn't show any signs of being awake.

Yep, this was his _aliit_.

Cody shook his head in amusement, and having _finally_ gotten his arm back from under Wolffe, he slowly stood up. He was still a little dizzy - the days of sleep deprivation and hunger still left him weaker than he would like to admit - but managed to stay upright. He walked over and picked up his datapad. Grey did the same, coming to stand next to Cody. When they saw their new messages, they shared a brief glance, then looked over to the blanket nest that their squadmates still occupied.

Cody let out a huff. This was not going to be easy. 

"Oi, _vode_ , get up."

No movement.

Grey let out a small sigh. "Come on guys, we have new orders."

No movement. 

Cody looked sideways at Grey and sent him a conspiratorial wink. Then, he stood up straight and took a deep breath before bellowing in his best impression of their trainers, "TROOPERS! ATTEEEEN-TION!"

Their squadmates were immediately awake, scrambling over each other while trying to stand at attention. Wolffe ended up kicking Bly in the side, causing Bly to fall over and trip Thire. Thire ended up tangled in a blanket, which only caused Wolffe to then stumble over him.

It was an absolute mess, and by the time they managed to come together in some semblance of order, Cody and Grey were doubled over laughing.

Cody could not remember the last time he had laughed so hard, tears running down his face and a stitch in his side from lack of air.

Wolffe growled at the sight of the two of them. Then, he got a wicked grin on his face, and leapt over the rest of the blankets. In a split-second, he picked Cody up and threw him over his shoulder. "Oh, you'll pay for that _Cod'ika_!"

Cody spluttered in response, trying to wriggle himself out of Wolffe's grasp. " _Di- di'kuut_! Put me down!"

His captor let out a booming laugh in response. "No chance of that, _Cod'ika_!"

Thire let out a laugh of his own, while Bly looked vaguely concerned for Cody. Grey just sighed and turned back to his datapad.

"...Um, guys?" Grey tried to say over the noise. "Shouldn't we maybe - just maybe - check out our new orders?"

"Aw, _Grey'ika_! That ruins all the fun!"

"Sure Wolffe, if scrambling to get ready to leave in less than hour is your idea of fun..."

"What?!" Cody realized that Wolffe was about to drop him a split-second before he did so, giving him barely enough time to avoid falling flat on his face. Luckily, he managed to hit the blanket nest. Mostly.

"Thanks for that, Wolffe," Cody grumbled, while rubbing a small sore spot from where he landed on his hip. _Great_ , _that will almost certainly bruise_.

"It doesn't matter, Cody! Orders! We get to escape this _ossik_ -forsaken desert and go _home_!" Thire looked way more excited at the prospect of going back to Kamino than Cody felt, but he didn't have the heart to say anything to his squadmate.

Plus, anything would beat all of this sand.

Cody went over to retrieve his datapad and stood next to Bly. He expected some basic orders about going back to Kamino to regroup, getting assigned as a Lieutenant or something to a bunch of shinies, and then ship out on a cruiser with a larger battalion. He was happy to do whatever they required of him to serve the Republic. That was what he had trained to do.

...which is why the words at the top of the message took him by surprise.

"Advanced Recon Commando Training?" He had heard of the program, of course, but only a select few from Batch 1 had ever done it. It was a program for training elite clones, and from what Cody had heard, they weren't planning on expanding it.

Cody looked up and met Bly's eyes, which were brimming with poorly-concealed glee. "Can you believe it, Cody? They want a bunch of _di'kuut'e_ like us to become ARC Troopers!"

Grey turned to them, "It looks like they're expanding the class because of the, and I quote, 'unusual tactical background of the new commanding officers.' Guess they want us to learn some new tricks!"

Cody couldn't help the excitement that spread through him. He and his squad, _ARC Troopers._ He knew as a part of the Clone Commander track that he would be getting some of the nicer assignments, but this? This was more than he imagined.

He scrolled down, reading further into his orders. It turned out that the Senator he had fallen out of gunship with had requested a commendation for his "quick-thinking and resourcefulness" when they were stranded out in the desert. Cody looked at the comment in surprise. He didn't think his actions were particularly exemplary. He was just doing his duty by following the orders of a Senate representative and protecting them at all costs. Well, if it led to his squad being ARC troopers, he guess he couldn't complain too much.

He looked at Bly and Grey, who were both grinning at him. Cody regarded them with a serious expression for a moment, then let his face fall into a wide grin. "Well then, let's show them what Kad'la can do. Together."

The two of them let out a loud, happy, "Yes sir!" before laughing and going back to read more about their new assignments.

That's when Cody noted something off about Wolffe and Thire. They had been oddly quiet.

Cody stepped around Bly and Grey towards them. " _Vode_! What's up?" Nothing. "Speechless about our new assignment?" Cody added with a grin, trying to lighten their mood.

No response. Both of them looked at their datapads, silent, with a somber expression.

"Wolffe? Thire?" Cody was concerned, now. Something wasn't right.

He reached over to put his hand on Wolffe's shoulder. This caused the trooper to look up, grief and disappointment evident in his eyes. 

"I...I'm not going back to Kamino."

"What?" Cody couldn't understand what his _ori'vod_ was saying. Squads were rarely split up - they had trained too long together for it to be worth losing that experience and familiarity.

"I didn't get chosen to do ARC training." Wolffe didn't look up from his datapad, as if he was willing the words to change before his eyes. 

Cody's heart sunk. He didn't believe it. Wolffe - the oldest, strongest, _best_ of them - wasn't chosen to be an ARC trooper? How was that even possible? It had always been Wolffe's goal. For Cody, it had been a far off dream. But Wolffe? He had been _working_ for it. And now...he had been passed over.

"No... no. That can't be right." Cody grabbed Wolffe's datapad and looked over it. Sure enough, at the top, where it _should've_ said "Advanced Recon Commander Training," it said "Advanced Strategic and Analytical Command Training". Location: Coruscant.

Not only were they denying Wolffe a place as an ARC trooper, they were sending him to the _other side of the galaxy_.

Cody looked up into Wolffe's eyes. He had never seen his _ori'vod_ look so...sad. There was disappointment there, of course, but also a deep sorrow and fear that he had to leave is _vode'ika_ behind.

And, of course, that's when Thire said, "I'm...on Coruscant too."

If Cody thought his heart couldn't sink any more, he was proven wrong hearing those four words.

"Are you...are you doing the same training as Wolffe?"

Thire looked even more deflated at that question. "No, I'm...I'm going to be given a squad of shinies and we’re reporting to a cruiser immediately." He stared down at the floor, unable to make eye contact with his brothers. "I guess I'm not worth the extra effort to train further."

That comment set Cody's teeth on edge. No one deserved further training more than Thire - how the _kriff_ did their superiors not see that? He took a breath. His anger and frustration at the situation wasn't going to help anyone, especially Thire.

 _We serve the Republic. We might not like where they send us, but we are soldiers and we must follow orders_. He took another breath.

Cody moved over to put an arm around Thire's shoulders. "Hey, _Thir'ika_ , don't think about it like that. Think of it this way - out of any of us, they are trusting _you_ to train the newest _vode_. The future of the army? They're letting you help shape it. And honestly," Cody took a pause and nudged Thire so he could look him in the eye as he said, "I can't imagine a better brother to do so." Thire just looked at Cody, unable to say anything.

"Damn straight, _Thir'ika_." Wolffe lightly punched Thire's shoulder, mustering up a grin for his _vod'ika_ despite still feeling down himself. Thire didn't look completely convinced, but he managed a small smile Wolffe's way nonetheless.

Cody looked at his brothers - his _ori'vod_ and his _vod'ika_ \- and was struck by just how strong the two of them were. Here they were, they're dreams being dashed in front of them, and they were still able to smile. If they could, so could Cody. 

He might have had to let his _runiriduur_ walk away and he might have to watch his _vode_ leave too, but that doesn't mean he's giving up. Not on any of them.

Cody lifted his head and motioned for Bly and Grey to join him. The three of them converged on Wolffe and Thire, bringing them into a group hug. For a moment, the five squadmates were completely silent, holding on to each other, trying to memorize each others' presence. Then, with one final squeeze, they let go, and began to prepare for their imminent departure.

Far sooner than he would've liked, Cody found himself about to board a gunship with Bly and Grey. Thire had left first, about 10 minutes earlier, and Wolffe had left soon after. The three remaining members of Kad'la Squad stood in front of the gunship, pausing before they walked on.

Cody found himself surprisingly hesitant to leave Geonosis. Yes it was a horrible desert wasteland, and yes it had seen the first deaths of his brothers in this war. But it was also the place where he had found his soulmate - not once, but _twice_. It was where he had started to understand what it meant to be strong for his brothers. It was where Kad'la had been _together_ for the last time in who knows how long.

But Cody knew he couldn't just dwell on the past. He had to look forward - he was going to be an ARC trooper. He was going to fight for the Republic. He was going to lead men in this war, and he planned to bring as many as he could out of it alive. He was going to find his soulmate, hold him in his arms, and keep him safe. And that wasn't something he could do from the surface of Geonosis.

Cody took a breath of the hot, dusty air, and turned to look at his leftover squadmates. Grey and Bly had the same expression of hesitation, yet determination that he had on his own. They shared a glance, then a nod, and boarded the gunship for Kamino. 

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was completely unexpected! I was supposed to write a fun little Kamino training montage, but sometimes a character pulls you headfirst into writing something completely different.
> 
> Thank you everyone for your kudos, comments, and bookmarks!! All of your kind words and feedback mean the world to me, and I appreciate it greatly.
> 
> A HUGE thanks to my vode, Bucket, Arc, and ESPECIALLY Scribs for your cheerleading, edits, and general friendship.
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr (whollyjoly)! I'm always happy to talk about this AU, codywan, or star wars in general.
> 
> Thanks, and I'll see you all next chapter!
> 
> Mando'a translations:
> 
>  _Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum_ \- I am still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal. (daily remembrances for those passed on)  
>  _ka'rta riduur_ \- "heart partner", or platonic soulmate  
>  _vod/vode_ \- brother/comrade  
>  _aliit_ \- clan/family  
>  _riduur_ \- soulmates, referring to either platonic or true. riduure is the plural  
>  _ge'tal_ \- red  
>  _tal'yayc_ \- orange  
>  _shi'yayic_ \- yellow  
>  _ne'tra_ \- black  
>  _buir_ \- parent  
>  _runiriduur_ \- true soulmate  
>  _kaminiise_ \- kaminoans  
>  _kebiin_ \- blue  
>  _aaray_ \- pain  
>  _sal/sal'e_ \- color/colors  
>  _Nu kyr'adyc, shi taab'echaaj'la_ \- Not gone, merely marching away. Tribute to a dead comrade.  
>  _haar'chak_ \- damn it  
>  _ori'vod_ \- big brother  
>  _vode an_ \- brothers all  
>  _ni serim_ \- Yeah, I'm right!  
>  _di'kuut_ \- idiot  
>  _gar mirsh solus_ \- you're an idiot (literally, your brain cell is lonely)  
>  _osik_ \- shit  
>  _mir'osik_ \- dung for brains  
>  _ne'johaa_ \- shut up  
>  _k'atini_ \- suck it up


	5. Obi-wan - Coruscant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Sorry for the delay in the update - this chapter took a lot out of me. But, to balance out the wait, it's almost 7k! Enjoy!

Obi-wan sat, cross-legged, and meditated in front of the bacta tank. 

After departing Geonosis, he, Padmé, and the severely injured Anakin boarded a cruiser that was in orbit around the planet. This cruiser, named the _Liberty_ , was apparently part of the newly-formed Grand Army of the Republic _._

Obi-wan found himself not particularly convinced by the name. For the first ship launched in a civil war, the _Liberty_ felt a little too on the nose.

His padawan was rushed to medbay and into a bacta tank as soon as the medics could get their hands on him. Obi-wan followed without a second thought. Padmé tried to join as well, but was quickly pulled away by several dozen "calls of high importance" from various senators, aides, and just about every journalist in the galaxy, desperate for a quote.

Since then, Obi-wan had been alone. 

He knew he should probably contact the Jedi Council, or check in on the battle still raging on Geonosis, or get a better idea of what's happening in the Senate, or _something._ But the past couple days left him feeling completely drained and off-balance. The rest of the world could wait for a couple hours - he desperately needed to rest. 

And, well, he couldn't bring himself to leave his padawan.

He sat in the dark room, the only light coming from the soft blue glow of the bacta tank, and sank into a meditation.

So many had been killed today - Jedi and clones alike. Anakin had nearly been one of them.

 _And it was all my fault_.

Obi-wan knew that guilt was not the Jedi way. He knew it, and yet, he couldn't stop thinking that Geonosis - the first battle of a _Galactic Civil War_ \- happened because of him.

Because he called for help, because he got captured, because he was sloppy.

Because he was _weak_.

They had come to rescue _him_ , someone who was never ready to be a Jedi, never ready to have a padawan...

...someone who had broken the cardinal rule of the Jedi order by having a _soulmate_. 

_Am I really worth all the deaths that I caused?_

Obi-wan couldn't bring himself to believe that he was.

During the battle, he had felt each and every light go out, like a small pinprick at his temple. In the moment, Obi-wan was able to push the sensation away. He locked the smoky wisps of grief and loss deep into the back of his mind. There was another droid to kill, another trooper to save, another step towards Dooku. He hadn't the time to deal with it then. But now...

Now, he could feel the smoke from thousands of candles being blown out all at once build up inside him, desperate to be released. It was suffocating. And yet, he felt like he deserved it. Taking a breath in, Obi-wan made himself go through the torrent inside him, one by one, and linger a moment with each and every soul that had died in the battle he caused.

He could barely tell the difference between those life-forces that were once Jedi and those that were once clones. Yes, the Jedi's signatures felt a little more ethereal, a little more serene, but the clones had a stoic and persistent quality. The Jedi felt like a drop of water that had just been evaporated, while the clones were like rocks that were ground to dust that blew away in the wind.

But both became smoke in the end. They were nothing more than wisps in the Force. 

Qui-Gon would say, _it was the will of the Force, Obi-wan. You must_ _stay in the present_. _It does no good to dwell on our past._

So, he tried. Obi-wan took a deep breath _in_ , then _out_. 

He attempted to release the pent-up emotion into the Force. The grief was overwhelming, tempting him to lash out instead of reign it in.

_In, out. In, out._

Slowly, the suffocating feeling of loss dissipated. Obi-wan managed to keep his breathing steady, despite how exhausted he felt.

The grief wasn't gone, and it wouldn't be forgotten. It had been felt, accepted, and released back into the Force.

_We are all one with the Force, and the Force will be with us, always._

His eyes opened, the faint glow of the room casting an eerie light in the medbay. Maybe it was just the ship speeding through hyperspace, but Obi-wan felt anchorless - like floating in a bottomless ocean after being thrown around in a hurricane. His mind needed a tether, something to center him after days of emotional whiplash.

He looked up to the bacta tank. Seeing Anakin, still in so many ways a young boy in Obi-wan's mind, look so ghostly pale was painful. It reminded him just how close he was to losing his padawan, his brother.

Anakin was the closest thing Obi-wan still had to a family, and he had no idea what he would do without him. 

Obi-wan lifted his arms, stretching out the kinks in his back. He took a breath in, recrossed his legs, settling back into his meditation pose, and let the breath out. He closed his eyes, the soft bubbling form the mouthpiece attached to Anakin providing a soothing background, and reached towards the padawan with his mind.

Anakin's Force signature felt like a star - young, blue, and just learning it's power. It was beautiful to look at, yes, but if you got too close, the heat was overwhelming. There was a core well of gravity to the energy, but it was slightly unstable, as if at any point it would expand into a red giant.

It was perhaps not what the Jedi council would consider a normal Force signature. Obi-wan, however, always found the brightness, though blinding, a steady companion through whatever mission or situation he found himself in.

So now, when he was completely off-balance, Obi-wan turned to Anakin.

 _Breathe in, out_.

The heat from the star in his mind washed over Obi-wan. It was a little paler, perhaps, than it was normally, but the blue was still blinding.

_I am one with the Force, and the Force will be with me, always._

He let himself sink further, allowing Anakin's force energy to center his thoughts. Where his padawan was a star, brilliant in the night sky, Obi-wan was the ocean, currents calmly moving in a slight breeze. There was power in both of them - but where one was a chaotic energy, constantly flaring and ready to explode, the other embodied the steady strength of patience, persistence, and serenity.

_In, out._

Obi-wan imagined floating in this ocean, the cool waves slightly bobbing him up and down. He timed his breaths with the current.

_In, out._

In his mind, when he looked up, he saw the star that was Anakin shimmering high above. It acted like a guide, allowing the rest of his tethers to fall into place like twinkling dots coming out in the night sky. 

_In, out_.

Oddly, on the horizon, there was something Obi-wan had never seen before. There was a sliver of something, just peeking out, that emitted a warm glow. It was as if a sun was just on the verge of rising, emitting a pale gold that one can only see in the first hours of dawn.

_In, out._

A warm breeze passed over Obi-wan as he lay floating in the sea. He smiled. There was a hum coming from the sunrise, and he knew it was the connection to his _cèile anam_.

_In, out._

He took a moment to revel in the warmth of his soulmate, lingering for a just moment longer than he necessarily wanted to. It was addicting, the feeling of a presence so different to anything Obi-wan had ever felt, yet somehow slightly familiar. He knew this is why the Jedi didn't allow for soulmates - in this moment, he felt like he could destroy a hundred thousand beings just to see what it would be like to feel this presence for the rest of his days. Turning away was almost painful. It was as if he just concentrated, stayed draped in the glow for just a moment longer, he could find out who his soulmate was. He could find the answer to the question he didn't even know he had. It would only take one more moment...

 _In, out_.

Obi-wan tore his eyes away from the sliver of sun, a not insignificant part of his being already lamenting the loss. As much as he wanted it, he couldn't. Not now, with a war on, with a padawan in danger, with a galaxy in chaos. Maybe when the war is over, he allowed himself to muse, maybe he would be willing to look for them. If they both survive, of course.

With one last sorrowful thought, Obi-wan built a small wall on the horizon, blocking out those few rays of sun. He instantly felt the cold sweep over him, mind protesting the block. But Obi-wan knew it was what needed to be done, and hoped that his soulmate would forgive him.

Before he could move on completely, however, a small flash of gold peeked out from beyond the mental wall.

Obi-wan smiled to himself. It appeared that his soulmate was a fighter, and a stubborn one at that.

Good. He expected nothing less.

 _In,_ _out_.

With a decisive breath, Obi-wan turned his attention back to the blue star of his padawan. He paused, noticing an odd flicker out of the corner of his eye.

_In, out._

There was something off about it. At first, Obi-wan attributed it to Anakin being injured and unconscious. But there was something else. Though still as blinding as ever, it felt almost like it was less...light. Less pure.

Obi-wan frowned, and focused more on the star. As he looked closer, he noticed a small black tendril that had wrapped around his padawan's force signature. It wasn't obvious at first glance, but the longer Obi-wan looked at it, the more he noticed how deep its roots went. 

_In, out, in, out._

He reached out to touch the tendril. As he did, a sharp stab of emotion struck him, screaming in _pain_ and _anger_ and _sorrow_ and _hatred_ and _grief_ and _why why why why was I so late I could have saved her I should have saved her how can she be gone I must have revenge on those who did thi-_

The door in the medbay opened with a hiss, snapping Obi-wan out of his meditation with a jolt. He looked around, disoriented, unsure as to what had just happened.

Padmé stood at the door, face apologetic. 

"Oh! I'm sorry for interrupting your meditation, Master Kenobi. I... well, I thought you might need a cup of tea." She shrugged towards the mug in her hands, looking unsure.

"It's quite alright, Senator Amidala. Please, feel free to join me." Obi-wan motioned to a chair that was set up near Anakin's bacta tank. For a moment, he swore he could see a black tendril wrapping around his padawan's throat. Obi-wan blinked, and it was gone. He shook his head, trying to clear the vision from his thoughts. "And do call me Obi-wan. I am not a Jedi Master yet, I'm afraid."

She smiled and walked towards him, handing over the mug. "Only if you call me Padmé."

Obi-wan hummed noncommittally and took a sip from his steaming tea. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. It was...it was _good_. Not as good as the cups he made, of course, but better than almost any other he's had. And the flavor was something he had never tasted before.

"Thank you, this is delicious."

Padmé sent a small smile his way and took a sip from her own mug. "I'm glad you like it. It's my favorite - a blend I can only find in Theed." She paused, taking another sip. "I always drink it when I'm trying to face a decision I don't want to make."

They sat quietly while sipping their tea. The silence was, if not comfortable, at least unhurried between them.

After a couple minutes, Padmé quietly spoke. "I think the Senate is going to vote to turn this into a full-fledged war and I...I don't know how to stop it."

He stayed silent and looked up at the senator. She sat in the chair near Anakin, looking at the bacta tank with both softness and sadness. Obi-wan had seen Padmé Amidala appear many ways - the young queen who tirelessly stood up to oppression, a faux-handmaiden who eagerly wanted to explore the world without the pomp of her status, the senator with a fierce passion and conviction for justice, and a woman who was wise beyond her years. 

But he'd never seen her look this tired before.

Padmé continued, looking into her tea, "The Chancellor says that the Republic can't let the Separatists go unpunished after the battle on Geonosis. That there's no possible peaceful solution for this conflict. Many of the other senators believe that but I... I can't. I won't. It's our _job_ to find one. What good are we otherwise?"

Obi-wan let out a small sigh. He said softly, " _Chan eil tuil air nach tig traoghadh_."

Padmé looked over towards him, confused painted across her face. "Pardon?"

"It's an old Stewjoni proverb, spoken in my native tongue. _Chan eil tuil air nach tig traoghadh_. It roughly translates to 'There isn't a flood which will not subside.' That's what I like to think of every time I'm trying to face a decision I don't want to make."

Obi-wan took a breath, and continued. "I don't know what's going to happen next. I wish I did...but all I can say now is that we must trust the Force to guide us. If we don't have hope that the flood will eventually subside, all will be lost."

Her expression softened as she took another sip of her tea. 

"I didn't know you were from Stewjon. Even though I know it's true for Ani, I guess it's easy to forget that the rest of the Jedi came from a family somewhere too."

Obi-wan smiled, remembering how the young Anakin and Padmé had become fast friends on Tatooine. It suddenly hit him that they must've discovered their soulbond then. How young they were to find their world changing so quickly. Obi-wan was slightly taken aback that he didn't notice Anakin had a true soulmate earlier.

He blinked at his tea and pulled himself out of his thoughts. That was something to ponder for another day.

"Yes, well, we Jedi weren't just sprung from the temple grounds, you know." He chuckled at his own joke, then took another long sip of tea. "I don't remember much of anything from my time on Stewjon before taken in by the Jedi, but I have spent some time there since."

Padmé looked up, surprised. "Really? I didn't think the Jedi would let their members go back to their homes."

"Well, the Jedi _Council_ might not," Obi-wan responded, a small twinkle in his eye, "but Master Qui-Gon was a force all of his own." 

"Yes, he did seem that way," Padme smiled, eyes growing distant while thinking of their adventure years previous. "Did he bring you back to Stewjon?"

"Well, not on purpose."

Padmé let out a small huff of laughter. "That sounds like quite a story. Would you..." she trailed off, looking back at the pale figure of Anakin. "...would you mind telling it to me? I- I could honestly use the distraction."

Obi-wan looked at Padmé. The worry lines in her face had deepened, and she looked far more exhausted than one so young had any right to be. The Force felt heavy in the room, clouded with grief and worry.

"Of course, I'm more than happy to oblige." Obi-wan took a sip of his tea, then thought back to that day twenty-one years ago.

"We had finished a diplomatic mission on Triffis - which is truly a marvelous planet, by the way, some of the most amazing museums in the Mid Rim - and were just about to jump to hyperspace when I felt a strong tug in the Force towards the neighboring system. I was a fairly young padawan at the time, no more than fourteen, and had no idea what it meant. Master Qui-Gon, however, was a strong believer in the powers of the Living Force. So, he told me to follow my instincts, and I flew us over and landed on a planet."

Obi-wan paused and took another long sip of his tea. He could remember the building anticipation as they flew closer to the planet, the Force giving him an odd sense of nostalgia for a place he couldn't remember.

"There was a festival happening that day. The planet was celebrating their first elected governor who had successfully led a nonviolent revolution. There was dancing in the streets, music flowing from every corner, and the food!" Obi-wan grinned, the memory of warm spices alive on his tongue. "It was like nothing I had ever tasted. Fried fish, roast mutton, puddings, the works."

Obi-wan paused, thinking fondly of the bemused look on Qui-Gon's face as his padawan had run around the festival, taking in the culture and sights. He then looked to his own padawan, floating in the bacta tank, missing a limb. "It's easy to forget that padawans are still just _children_. We put so much on their shoulders, what with teaching them to control their emotions, using the Force, and telling them they hold the future of the galaxy. I...I know that I'm not always the best at remembering it with Anakin."

He took a breath and closed his eyes. "With Master Qui-Gon, I always wanted to grow up so quickly. And, for the most part, he encouraged me to. But that day? At the Stewjon festival?" Obi-wan opened his eyes and smiled softly at Padmé, "I truly felt like a kid who could just explore the world."

Padmé smiled, a little sad. Looking at her now, it was easy to forget that she too was hardly given the opportunity to have a childhood. She was the queen of an entire planet at only _fourteen_. 

"I've managed to go back a couple times since then, unbeknownst to the Jedi Council, of course," Obi-wan continued, "Once with Anakin. He was a brand new padawan then, still adjusting to life on Coruscant. So, I took him on a 'cultural survey to further his studies,' and brought him to the Festival."

Padmé looked up in surprise at him. She laughed, and said, "Why, Master Kenobi, how very rebellious of you! Now I can see where Ani gets it."

Obi-wan raised his eyebrow at her in mock offense, "I have no idea what you mean, Senator. It was a very informative field trip. Well..." he trailed off for a moment, and a grin swept over his face, "informative in regards to how awful of a dancer my young padawan is."

The two of them looked at each other for a moment, then broke out into peals of laughter. Obi-wan couldn't remember the last time he had laughed so hard - the grief of the last few days had overshadowed almost everything else. 

But now, in this moment, he could feel the heavy Force energy slowly lighten with every second of renewed laughter. Padmé looked, not completely better, but at least less weary than she had before.

They sat in silence for a moment, moods much brighter. Padmé smiled softly into her tea, giving a sideways glance to Obi-wan. Her voice lilted with poorly concealed mirth as she asked, "Do you want to hear about Ani trying to ride a shaak on Naboo?"

Obi-wan gave a chuckle, glad to hear the senator sound a little more like herself. "I would love to, my dear."

"Well, we were having a picnic in a field near my family's lake house..."

The two of them sat like that for the rest of the journey to Coruscant, swapping stories and slowly drinking more cups of tea. Obi-wan could still feel the effects of the dark tendril from Anakin's Force signature, and Padmé was still worried about the looming civil war. But, for the moment, they were allowed a brief respite of peace, and their laughter carried out of the medbay, down the halls of the _Liberty_ , and into the Force itself.

~

"We're going to be _what_?"

Obi-wan considered himself to have a very calm exterior. Even if he was mentally cursing or screaming or sighing, Obi-wan was well-practiced at putting on his Negotiator face no matter the situation. This mostly happened while dealing with politicians - or, more commonly, with Anakin. Rarely ever did it break, and never before the Jedi Council.

Until now.

Mace Windu sighed, shaking his head. "I know it's not ideal, but with the current situation..."

"With the current situation, don't you think we need to maintain our place as peacekeepers? Now, more than ever?" Obi-wan did not attempt to hide the sharpness in his tone. This proposal of the Jedi not just being involved, but _commanding_ this war was unbelievable.

"I understand your concern, Knight Kenobi."

The use of the word _Knight_ was a sharp reminder that, though Obi-wan had been invited to the Council chamber to give his report on Geonosis, he was not one of them.

Mace continued, "The Jedi’s position has always been neutral. But with the Chancellor urging the Senate to ask for our involvement, we cannot stay out of it."

"Since when has the Senate been able to command us?" Plo Koon asked, displeasure in his voice obvious, even through the distortion of his mask. "It is not their place to determine our involvement in a war they refuse to settle peacefully."

"What choice do we have?" Luminara responded. "Perhaps our presence will add legitimacy to the Republic, and help shorten the conflict. If we were seen to be neutral, that could prolong the war, and cause even more needless death."

"How can we bring balance to the force, as we have sworn to do, while choosing sides? That is the highest form of hypocrisy." Shaak Ti added. Her montrails twitched, clearly spelling out her displeasure.

"There is no balance as long as there is war!" Obi-wan had never heard Saesee Tiin raise his voice before, and by the astonished looks from the rest of the Council, they never had either.

"Please," Mace said, raising up a hand, "let us keep calm. Master Yoda, do you have any thoughts?"

Obi-wan looked over to Yoda. He was sitting on his chair, one hand on his cane while the other was rubbing thoughtfully at his chin. "Clouded, the future is. Where this conflict will lead us, unsure, I am."

Hearing the uncertainty in the Grand Master's tone set an uneasy silence in the Council chambers. The continuous hum of the whirring traffic outside only emphasized the quiet inside.

Obi-wan couldn't believe that the Jedi Council might actually decide that they should fight in this civil war. Not just fight to keep the peace, or act as mediators, but lead as _generals_. They would be given command of thousands of men, who were made for this purpose, and lead them to slaughter. Their soldiers would be _clones,_ who had never been given a choice in the matter.

His _cèile anam_ would be fighting on the front lines, and the Jedi would be the ones commanding him to do so.

Obi-wan knew he shouldn't say anything further - he had clearly overstayed his welcome in the Council chambers - but he found that he couldn't stay quiet.

"Masters, I understand that there are many external pressures telling us that we belong in this fight. And, perhaps it may not be the best course for us to be neutral in this conflict." Obi-wan took a breath, trying to keep the waver out of his voice under the eyes of a dozen of the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy. "But how can we uphold our mission to preserve life and peace if we act as _generals_ in this war? How can we lead these men to their death? Yes they may be clones, but they are a part of the Force and are just as much alive as you and me.”

"I know the sudden losses in the Force, both Jedi and clones alike, have taken a toll on all of us." Obi-wan pointedly looked at the many empty chairs in the room as proof, and went on. "Do we have the right to be the reason for further death? To throw lives away 'for the greater good' instead of protecting them? Is that what the Force wants our destiny to be?"

As he finished, Obi-wan looked at each member of the Council, almost daring them to challenge him. Instead, he was met with silence as the weight behind his words, and of their decision, began to sink in.

Mace Windu was the one to break the quiet. "This is a matter for the Council to vote on, Knight Kenobi. Leave us, and we will inform you of our decision."

Obi-wan hesitated for a split-second, then bowed and left the room. He had said what he could, and it was now in the hands of the Masters to decide.

He made his way back to the medbay to check on his padawan, still resting after coming out of the bacta tank a few days before. The Healing Halls always held an eerie quiet, no matter how busy the place was. It unsettled Obi-wan, if he was perfectly honest. Between the scrapes Anakin got into and the ones he himself had as a youngling, Obi-wan had spent a not insignificant amount of time here, under the watchful gaze of the healers. But the unexpected, almost unnatural silence was something he never got used to.

Obi-wan pressed the button into Anakin's patient room, flinching slightly as the _hiss_ of the door broke the quiet. The room was dark, save for the blinking lights of a monitor on the far wall. His padawan was sleeping, a familiar sight at this point. But, Obi-wan noticed as he stepped into the room, Anakin's eyebrows were furrowed, as if in a bad dream.

The Jedi sighed, making his way over to the chair that had become so familiar the past few days.

He knew he needed to center his mind before hearing the Council's decision. Having such an emotional response, _especially_ in front of the Jedi masters, was...unexpected, to say the least. If he didn't want them to notice how strongly he felt, particularly when it came to the wellbeing of the clones, he was going to have to be more careful.

Obi-wan fell into a light meditation, reaching out with his mind towards Anakin. It felt...unbalanced. Anakin had never been the most skilled Jedi at keeping a tight rein on his emotions, but as far as Obi-wan knew, it had never gotten out of hand. This felt different. It wasn't something Obi-wan could pinpoint exactly, but it was a feeling of something settling in his padawan's mind. Of some decision he had made that changed him. 

Obi-wan pulled his mind back a little, only skimming the bare surface of his padawan's mind. He could ask about what had happened later. For now, there was nothing to do but wait.

He steadied his breath, and released every ounce of calm he could muster into a wave that encompassed the two of them. Anakin's brow smoothed out, and Obi-wan could feel himself relax a little as well.

 _We are one with the Force, and the Force will be with us, always_. Obi-wan repeated the familiar mantra, mind quieting. 

He lost track of how long they sat like that, breaths in sync. The sun had already begun to set when Obi-wan's comm chirped, signalling that the Council had made a decision.

Obi-wan took one more breath, making a last ditch effort to be as centered as he was going to get. With a nod to himself and one last look at Anakin, he retraced his steps back to the Council room.

Judging by the faces of the Masters, few of them were pleased with the verdict they had come to.

"So, I take it you all have come to a decision?" Obi-wan suddenly remembered standing next to Qui-Gon in this chamber, almost nine years ago, and hearing him say the same thing. Qui-Gon hadn't been pleased with the result then, and Obi-wan very much doubted now would be any different.

Mace nodded, "Yes, we have voted on two matters. We are to proceed as generals in this...Clone War. The decision was not unanimous, but the majority felt that our presence is necessary in order to have a swift end of this war."

Obi-wan dipped his chin in a barely-perceptible nod. It took all his concentration to keep his face neutral at the news while his mind spun with frustration and grief.

 _I have a bad feeling about this,_ he wanted to say.

"And may I ask what the second matter is?" He said instead.

Mace glanced at Yoda, who seemed surprisingly smug at the question. Yoda turned to Obi-wan, giving him a long look. "Ask, you may. Make you a member of this Council, we have decided. _Master_ Kenobi."

...What?

Obi-wan was stunned. A Master? A member of the Jedi Council no less?

"I'm sorry, you want me to be a member of this Council? Why? I'm not even qualified to be a Master!"

Yoda almost looked amused. "Long deserved, this is. Lost, so many Council members were. Need, we have, of filling those seats. And..." the Jedi Master's eyes looked far away for a moment, as if he was gazing into the Force itself. "Right you are, about the clones. Good it will be, to have someone on this Council to keep that perspective in mind."

Obi-wan didn't know what to say. He felt honored, of course, but his soulmate kept a heavy weight in the back of his mind. How could he have a place on the Jedi Council when he wasn't a real Jedi in the first place? What would they say if he told them he had a true soulmate?

But he knew that as a member of the Jedi Council, he was in the best position to advocate for the clones. He could use his power here to remind the other Masters that they were indeed people, and could protect them when he was able.

Mind made up, Obi-wan simply said, "Then I would be honored to accept, Masters."

They nodded at him. Mundi gestured to the empty seat to his right, and Obi-wan crossed the chamber to sit down.

Without further ado, Mace brought up a holo-map and the Council began their planning.

Their planning to go to war.

~

"Is that all you've got, my young padawan?"

Obi-wan watched Anakin retreat back a pace, scowl deepening on his face. Their spar had been going for almost ten minutes, and his padawan had yet to get a hit on him. They circled each other for a moment, taking a breath. Obi-wan knew the calm wouldn't last long - his padawan was too predictable for that. 

_He always favors strength over patience_ , Obi-wan thought wryly, _so he will go in for an attack sooner rather than later-_

Obi-wan just managed to dodge the spinning kick before it hit him square in the ribs. It was an impressive attack, to be sure, but would have been more so had his padawan been more patient.

Anakin grunted as his saber sailed past his master's shoulder. 

Obi-wan smirked, then dove low and swung his lightsaber at Anakin's knees in the moment it took him to recover from the failed kick. His padawan managed to parry, but was pushed backward before he could counter.

Again, as Obi-wan predicted, Anakin barely took a second before he lunged forward in an attack. He drove hard, saber a flurry of strikes against each of Obi-wan's parries. The speed at which they were moving - _attack, parry, attack, parry_ \- made their lightsabers appear to blur together. The sound of each clash, a sharp hiss, was almost deafening.

This was Anakin's strength - his skill in Djem So made it so the sheer force of power in his attacks would overwhelm most opponents.

But Obi-wan was not most opponents.

Despite Anakin's furious attempts to poke a hole in Obi-wan's defense, he was not successful. Obi-wan was a master of Soresu, and managed to block every single one of them almost effortlessly. While Anakin's attacks grew increasingly desperate, Obi-wan maintained the perfect form. He did not lose an inch of ground, nor did he break a sweat.

Obi-wan was taunting Anakin, and by the look on his padawan's face, he was not happy about it.

_It just goes to show how far a little patience can take you._

He continued to block each attack, spinning his lightsaber in perfect time, waiting for the right moment. As Anakin grew more frustrated, his attacks became larger and less refined. This went on for a couple more minutes until...

 _There_.

Obi-wan's eyes gleamed for a split-second as he saw an opening. In the last moment, he turned his parry into a counter-attack. He slid his blade up along Anakin's to break away from the momentary gridlock, then swung around left to go in for a shoulder hit. Anakin grinned as he deflected the blow easily, and Obi-wan stumbled a step back.

Which was, of course, exactly his plan.

Anakin, with that burst of false confidence, telegraphed his lunge, thinking he was delivering a final blow. Smirking, Obi-wan side-stepped his padawan in the last moment. He grabbed his Anakin's outstretched arm as it passed by his shoulder. It was the mechanical one, the new one, and his padawan had yet to fully adapt to the change in his body.

Using his inertia against him, Obi-wan used the grip on Anakin's arm to pull him to the ground, tugging the lightsaber out of his hands. 

Before Anakin could even blink, his master was standing above him, lightsaber pointed at his throat.

Obi-wan smirked, holding the high ground for a moment. Then, he switched off his lightsaber with a _whoosh_ , and reached out his hand to help his padawan up.

Anakin took it with a scowl, grumbling, "That was not fair, master."

Obi-wan raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh? And you've always played fair during our sparring matches?"

Anakin didn't respond, just wordlessly brushed the dirt off his robes.

"Oh that's right," Obi-wan continued, "I forgot that constantly kicking sand in my face isn't considered cheating."

Anakin let out a small huff, grinning slightly. "Of course not, Master. That's simply using your environment to your advantage. One of the lessons you have taught me well."

Obi-wan just rolled his eyes. He wasn't about to dignify that with a response.

They made their way to a low bench on the edge of the sparring arena. Obi-wan sat and took a moment to stretch out his back, pulling out the kinks that developed during their spar. He leaned back, crossed his legs, and watched a class of younglings as they practiced their forms. Anakin had manifested a small spanner from thin air and tweaked the connections in his arm.

They sat for a moment, catching their breath.

Obi-wan glanced over to his padawan, who was intently adjusting some bolt. "It's amazing the progress you've made with that in just a few short weeks."

Anakin looked up in surprise. Obi-wan responded to the confused look with a small smile.

"You're almost as strong as you were before," Obi-wan said as he nodded to Anakin's mechanical hand. "Good to see your recent trip to Naboo hasn't put you out of practice."

Anakin flushed at the mention of the planet, looking away from his master. Obi-wan narrowed his eyes at his padawan, corner of his mouth upturned to a small smirk. He said nothing, just paused to give Anakin the space to say more about his trip. 

Or, at the least more about a certain senator.

Anakin instead said nothing, fiddling with the connections in his arm almost aggressively and pointedly avoiding his master's gaze.

Obi-wan sighed, knowing - or, at least, _hoping_ \- that Anakin would come to him when he was ready to talk. To his continual surprise, Obi-wan would actually be able to relate to his padawan on this issue.

Suddenly, a sharp chime from Obi-wan's comm broke the uncomfortable silence.

 _Saved by the bell, I suppose_ , he thought wryly. 

Anakin looked up, "Council business, Master? Again?"

Obi-wan tactfully did not point out how eager Anakin seemed to change the subject.

"Yes, Anakin. That is what happens when one needs to catch up on centuries of old Council records. Plus, I'm not sure if it has passed your notice, but we do have a war on."

Anakin huffed. "It sure doesn't feel like a war while we're stuck here."

Obi-wan sighed as he said, for what felt like the millionth time, "Patience, my young padawan. I am sure they'll be in need of our assistance soon."

"Sure, but when? We should be out there! Trying to cut off the head of the Separatists before they can even begin! We should go out and find Dooku and-"

"Enough, Anakin."

Anakin looked back down at his arm, muttering under his breath, "Yes, Master."

"It seems as though patience is the one lesson that won't stick with you. Both in here," Obi-wan tapped his temple, "and out there," he then looked out to the arena, where he had beat his padawan a few minutes before.

"...I do hope it's a lesson you learn. Especially before becoming a Jedi Knight."

At that, Anakin perked up, looking at his master in shock. "A...Knight?"

Obi-wan flashed a bemused smile at his padawan. "Yes, Anakin. The Council has been thinking that they might put you through your trials soon."

Anakin looked like he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"Do you..." he said slowly, tilting his head to look up at his master, "...do you think I'm ready?"

That was not what Obi-wan had expected to hear.

Obi-wan knew it hadn't been an easy journey for his padawan - growing up a slave, having to leave behind his mother, only to be vehemently denied the opportunity to become a Jedi, and then having a barely-qualified Master try to train him. Anakin always complained about being treated like a child, claiming that he has been ready for his trials for the last few years. 

He's been fighting for so long to be seen as a real Jedi, and now that it might become real? Anakin looks like he isn't sure what to do. It's something Obi-wan himself was all too familiar with at his age.

He paused for a moment before answering. Anakin deflated at his master's silence, and Obi-wan could feel the self-doubt already spiraling through his padawan's mind.

"No, Anakin, it's not that I don't think you're ready, it's..." Obi-wan stopped himself, not sure how to say what was on his mind. "Look, when I was a padawan, Master Qui-Gon was never the most, well, the most forthright with praise."

Anakin sat up at this, looking at Obi-wan in confusion. Whenever Obi-wan had spoken of his master in the past, it was always regarding some adventure or piece of wisdom that Qui-Gon had passed on. It had never been anything less than positive, and nowhere near critical.

Obi-wan took a breath before continuing. "So when Qui-Gon told the Council that he was ready for me to take my trials, only so he could take you on as a padawan, I felt completely blindsided. I didn't feel ready, not really. And, well, it hurt. It felt like my master didn't care how I felt, and was ready to leave me behind."

Anakin sat quietly, for once, letting his master take a moment to collect his thoughts.

"What I mean to say," Obi-wan put a hand on his padawan's shoulder and looked him in the eye, "is that no one else can tell you if you're ready. Not me, not the Council, not anyone. Only you will know when you're ready."

Anakin blinked at Obi-wan for a moment, as if he was trying to determine if this was real.

"...For what it's worth?" Obi-wan continued, squeezing Anakin's shoulder, "When the time comes, I have faith that you'll be a great Knight."

Silence hung between them for a moment, punctuated by the _whoosh_ of lightsabers clashing elsewhere in the arena. What had been a tangle of confusion and worry in Anakin had smoothed out, giving way to contemplation and tentative acceptance.

A slow smile spread across Anakin's face. At first it was genuine, something rare on his face. But then he appeared to have thought better of it, and his expression turned into a smug grin.

"Of course I'll be ready Master, who do you take me for?" Anakin laughed, shrugging Obi-wan's hand off his shoulder. 

Obi-wan just shook his head. "My insufferable padawan, of course. Force knows what I did to deserve this torment."

The two of them chuckled, reveling in the moment of peace that flowed through the Force between them. They may bicker, but at the end of the day, Anakin was the closest thing to family that Obi-wan had.

After a couple of seconds, Obi-wan stood up, dusting off his robes.

"Well, that's enough messing around. We best go see what the Council wants."

"We?"

"Yes, Anakin," Obi-wan said, looking at Anakin's put-out expression, "they want to see _both_ of us."

The possibility of talking about his trials or no, Obi-wan knew Anakin never liked going to the Council.

The walk up to the tower was short. By the time they had arrived, the other Council members were already seated. Only Shaak Ti was not physically present, but she sat in holo-form. A soft murmur filled the room, Masters quietly checking in with each other. As they walked in, however, quiet fell over the room.

Obi-wan nodded at Mace, then at Yoda, as he and Anakin walked over to his seat. He was still using Master Trebor's chair, since his own had not arrived yet. Not only did it feel uncomfortable to sit in a seat that belonged to someone who so recently passed into the Force - it was a shoe that Obi-wan still did not believe he deserved to fill - but the chair was designed for a 7-foot-tall Vurk. He had to practically jump to sit in it, much to Anakin's amusement.

He sent a quick glare towards his padawan, then turned his focus to the rest of the Council.

"Master Kenobi. Padawan Skywalker," Mace nodded in their direction, "we have word of our first engagement with the Separatist forces."

Anakin perked up at this - Obi-wan could practically feel the excitement radiating off of him.

Obi-wan mentally rolled his eyes at his padawan, wanting to chide him for letting his emotions get the better of him. Instead, he looked to Mace. "Where?"

"It seems as though the Separatists have seized Rhen Var." Mace Windu waved his hand, and a holomap of the planet appeared in the center of the Council chamber. "As you well know, we have a Republic Base there. We need two forces: one to help with the evacuation of the base, and another to act as a stealth mission to uncover what it is the Separatists want from the planet."

Obi-wan nodded, looking intently at the holomap above as he rubbed his hand through his beard.

"Master Ti," Mace continued, looking at the holo-image of the Jedi, "how is the preparation of the clone troopers on Kamino going?"

"Currently, there are only enough troops to support two regiments. The issue is not the number of clone troopers, but rather the number of clone commanders. We lost many of those who had undergone advanced training on Geonosis. There is currently another class of clones that is undergoing Advanced Recon Commander Training - but these won't be ready for another month and a half."

"What's special about the Advanced Recon Commander Training?" Obi-wan asked.

Shaak Ti looked over at him. "The purpose of ARC training is to give these clones the tools and training to handle some of our more..." she paused, giving Obi-wan and his padawan a rueful smile, "...eccentric Jedi strategies. These clones will be the best of the best, and they are training one to accompany each general."

Mundi turned to Shaak Ti, "And what are we to do in the meantime?"

"In the meantime," she responded, "there are a handful of graduates from the first class of ARC troopers. I would recommend these men accompany our deployment to Rhen Var."

The rest of the Council nodded in agreement.

The conversation continued on, members debating troop size and where to allocate resources. Typically, Obi-wan would be listening. But he found that he could not shake the thought of the clone commanders from his head.

Well, he couldn't shake the thought of one particular clone.

 _It would be so easy_ , Obi-wan thought, _to ask Master Ti what had happened to the clone squad that was on my gunship. I could narrow it down, be one step closer to finding my_ cèile anam...

He shook his head, pulling himself out of those thoughts. This was a war, one in which he was a High General, and he couldn't afford to have the distraction of attachment. _Especially_ to someone he may have to send into battle.

No, it was best not to know. 

Obi-wan shifted his attention back to the meeting at hand just in time for Mace to call his name.

"Master Kenobi?"

"Yes?"

"You and your padawan will be leading the evacuation of the Republic Base. You will be joined by Sol Regiment, with Commander Alpha-8 as your clone leader."

Obi-wan turned his head to look at Anakin, standing to the right of his master's chair. His padawan's expression may have been neutral, but Obi-wan could tell from his Force energy that he couldn't wait to be out in the action.

Obi-wan mentally sighed at the young man, then turned back to Mace. "Yes, Master Windu. We shall depart immediately."

Mace nodded, "May the Force be with you."

With that, the meeting was adjourned. The time for planning and preparation was over - the Clone Wars had truly begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this chapter! This was 100% not in my original plan for this story, but Obi-wan felt like he needed some quality time with his fam.
> 
> Continuing my trend that Stewjon is Space Scotland: the festival mentioned above is loosely based off of the St. Andrew's Day Festival! I was able to attend while studying abroad in Scotland, and boy let me tell you having a massive ceilidh (dance) in the streets while it's so cold you can see your breath was an absolutely wild experience. Also, shoutout to my friend who speaks Scottish Gaelic/Gàidhlig and has been helping me with translations and finding fun proverbs while having no idea it's for Star Wars fanfiction!!
> 
> As always, a _huge_ shoutout to my vode, Bucket, Arc, and Scribs for continuously putting up with my garbage as I attempt to write. You all are the best, and I love you so much!
> 
> Wanna talk this AU, Codywan, or Clone Wars in general? Come say hi on tumblr (whollyjoly)!
> 
> Next chapter, we'll be on Kamino for some training shenanigans! I wonder who we'll meet there...
> 
> Thank you all again, I have loved and appreciated every comment and kudos you leave!!
> 
> Til next time, lots of love x


	6. Cody - Kamino, pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! I'm sorry this chapter took so long.
> 
> This is only part 1 of the Kamino Training Montage, with part 2 coming in the next chapter. I was hoping to put it all in one chapter, but this ended up being 10k already, so I decided to split them.
> 
> Also! This is an early birthday present for Tree!! Tree is great because a) they are awesome b) they are an amazing cheerleader and have been such a great supporter and c) they're a really great writer and contributor to the fandom. Check them out on [ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treetart/pseuds/Treetart)!
> 
> Mando'a translations are at the end.
> 
> CW for a character having a panic attack. If you want to skip it, jump from "Maybe he doesn't want me" to "A warrior is more than their armor".

Cody stood at attention, eyes trained ahead and back ramrod straight.

Right now, he was just one trooper among 29 others who had also been chosen to undergo this training. But soon, he would be an ARC trooper.

The thought was simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying.

Exhilarating because _this was it_. This was the most advanced form of training a trooper could get. This is what he, and all of Kad'la had dreamed of since they first knew it existed. This was the big leagues.

But it was also terrifying because, with this sort of training, _kriff_ knows what they'll be sent to do next.

Cody closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. It would not do him any good to have his emotions race out of control. For now all he could do was stand at attention, stay calm, and be prepared for whatever would be thrown his way next.

It was odd to be back on Kamino. Though they had only been gone for a week and a half, Cody felt like a lifetime had passed. He had changed, he could feel it. 

Cody left Kamino a shiny, not nearly as prepared as he thought he was for battle, but had returned a trooper.

Suddenly, a trooper marched into the parade ground, shaking Cody out of his thoughts. He wore armor unlike any Cody had seen before - a pauldron on his left shoulder, a pack for ammo on his right shoulder, a periscope rangefinder helmet attachment, straps across his chest for proton grenades and who knows what else, and a flowing pair of kamas that attached from his hips to his ankles.

But what surprised Cody most was that it was painted. Painted _kebiin_. 

The trooper came to a stop in front of the ranks. He paused, surveying the troopers. Then, he pulled off his helmet, revealing an older, more scarred face than Cody had seen on any of his brothers.

"Troopers!" He boomed, causing Cody and the troopers around him to try and stand even straighter. "My name is Alpha-17, and I will be in charge of your ARC training."

"Before we begin, I would like to warn you. This training is _not_ for the average trooper." Alpha-17 gave a stare that was ten times as intimidating as Wolffe's best. Cody wasn't sure that was even possible.

"We will ask you to go against your training, against every instinct you were bred to feel." Alpha-17 continued as he paced in front of the first row of troopers, looking each of them in the eye as if he could see through their buckets. "You will see things you don't understand, have to act and think independently _,_ and you will be pushed past the factory setting these _kaminiise_ put you in."

The air in the room was thick, full of tension. There was fear, yes, but also excitement.

"You will come out of this training as the most elite soldier the Grand Army of the Republic can offer. You will be prepared to face any type of clanker that comes at you, yes, but you will also be sent on the most dangerous missions this war has to offer."

Alpha-17 finished his pacing right in front of Cody. He turned sharply, and fixed Cody with a stare that could cut right through durasteel.

"If any one of you thinks you can't handle that, then now is the time to leave."

There wasn't a moment of doubt in Cody's mind. If he was going to keep his word to Jango and protect his _vode_ , this was the way. 

If he was going to manage to stay alive and find his _runiriduur_ , this was the way.

Cody straightened up as much as he could under Alpha-17's gaze. He raised his chin slightly, and though he was wearing a bucket, looked back with as much strength as he could muster.

 _Bring it on_.

Alpha-17 smiled, something bordering friendly and feral, and turned to look at the rest of the troopers.

"No one? Good, then let's get started."

He marched back to the front of the ranks and stood at ease, before continuing, "Each of you were chosen to be in this Advanced Recon Commando training because you have been identified to be the best. Whether you are a good leader, a good shot, or a quick-thinker, someone thought you would be a good fit for our new generals."

"My job is to prepare you for whatever our new commanding officers will have to throw at us. And _vode_ ," Alpha-17 said as he flashed a wry grin, "you will need all the training you can get to deal with them."

Cody couldn't help but feel the curiosity burning from his brothers. None of them knew who their generals would be - they had been trained on Kamino to take orders from whoever happened to be in that role. Gossip around the barracks had guessed that it would be mercenaries, or maybe some noblemen. Some had even guessed that it would be Senators themselves.

But no one had known for sure, until now.

A robed figure walked onto the parade ground. She was tall, with two tall montrals and three long lekku, all striped in blue - _a Togrutan_ , Cody's mind supplied. Lining her montrals, she had a golden headdress, made of what looked like to be teeth. She walked with a grace that was unlike any Cody had seen, and carried a presence that couldn't be described as anything else but _serene_. 

After all the death and uncertainty that had followed in the last week, this figure looked almost out of place.

She stood in front of the troopers, taking them in one-by-one.

"I am Master Shaak Ti, member of the High Council of the Jedi Order. It has been decided, after the Jedi's involvement on Geonosis, that we are to lead the Grand Army of the Republic during this Galactic Civil War."

The silence in the room was deafening, as if none of the troopers could breathe.

Cody's brain stopped. The Jedi's words were echoing through his head, drowning out whatever was said next by Alpha-17.

_If the Jedi were the ones on Geonosis-_

"Now, I understand that this was not expected by us or the Kaminoans..."

_And they're going to be our commanding officers-_

"...we will learn to adapt to whatever the current situation throws at us..."

_Does that mean that my soulmate-_

"...and we will serve our Jedi no matter what..."

_Will be-_

"Troopers, is that clear?"

"Sir, yes sir!" The resounding shout from the troopers around him shook Cody out of his thoughts. 

He couldn't deal with that line of thinking right now - he was a _trooper_ , a _vod_ , and his first duty was as a soldier. 

Cody took a deep breath, pushing away the thoughts of his soulmate, and brought his mind back to the present.

"...General Ti will be overseeing the clone training program on Kamino, starting with this first class of ARC troopers." Though her face was impassive, Cody noticed Shaak Ti's lekku twitch ever-so-slightly when Alpha-17 used her military rank.

"Now," General Ti said, voice clear as a bell, "I can sense that some of you are unsure as to what makes the Jedi so special that you require further training."

Cody could sense some of his brothers shift uneasily at this, as if she had just read their minds.

"To that, I say," General Ti said with a small smile on her lips, "Would anyone care to find out?"

The grin on Alpha-17's face was downright feral.

There was a bit of shuffling among clones - they were curious, yes, but no one wanted to be the first to step forward. They had been trained since decanting to never fight a superior officer, and that instinct wouldn't go away so easily.

After a moment of silence, Cody saw the trooper on his left turn his head towards the trooper behind him and nod. The other nodded back, then looked to the trooper on his right. He also nodded, and the three of them stepped forward.

Cody looked over to Bly, standing on his right. Bly just shook his head, and Cody couldn't help but echo the sentiment.

"We have our volunteers," General Ti said, her voice perfectly even. "And what are your names, troopers?"

"CC-1993, Ma'am." The one on the left responded.

At this, General Ti raised an eyebrow. "I asked for your name, trooper, not your designation."

Cody's eyebrows rose at this, and though he couldn't see the expression on his brothers' faces, he was sure they were just as shocked as he was.

Never had someone outside of the _vod_ asked for their names.

It was something they had for each other, something that Jango had encouraged in order for them to have a small piece of individuality. The _kaminiise_ had never banned the use of their names, sure, but they never encouraged or asked for it. To them, it was only ever their designation.

But this Jedi...

...she asked for their _names_.

"Uh, well- they call me Jet, Ma'am." The uncertainty was clear in the trooper’s voice.

General Ti flashed a small smile at Jet, then turned to the trooper in the center. "And you?"

"CC-6969. But I go by Gneiss, Ma'am."

"And I'm CC-2801, or Tacks, Ma'am."

Cody couldn't help but feel skeptical. Three on one? These Jedi might be good, but surely not _that_ good.

"Well then, Jet, Gneiss, Tacks," General Ti reached into her robe to unclip a long, smooth, silver handle. She pressed a button on the side, and with a _whoosh_ , a long, pale yellow beam of light came from one end. It was unlike anything Cody had ever seen - as if someone had taken a blaster bolt and suspended it in midair. "Let us begin."

The three troopers took a small step back as the laser-sword ignited. They had been trained with blades, yes, but nothing like this.

General Ti sent them a small smile, that, if Cody didn't know better, he would say is almost chilling. "Don't worry, troopers. This is not a real lightsaber - it will only stun if hit."

She brought the saber up vertically, directly in front of her face, then swung it down with a long _whoosh_ to her right side, as if in a salute. With her left hand, she beckoned the clones to begin.

Jet, Gneiss, and Tacks pulled out their rifles - all set to stun. 

General Ti stood as still as a statue, closing her eyes. The three troopers exchanged a look, hesitating for a moment, before Jet sent a hand signal to his squadmates. Slowly, they moved to surround her.

The Jedi didn't show any signs of caring - or even noticing - that she was outflanked. General Ti remained motionless, eyes closed. To some, she may have looked like prey none the wiser to the three troopers surrounding her. But to Cody, the Jedi looked as if _she_ was the predator, laying in wait.

Cody saw Gneiss look at Tacks, who looked over at Jet. Jet shrugged one shoulder, and they all stepped forward closer to the General. Jet then gave the signal, and all three of them fired.

In the half-second before any of them could get a shot off, however, the Jedi's eyes flickered open, and she jumped.

Perhaps jumped isn't the right word, Cody pondered. It almost looked like she _flew_.

In one moment, she was standing perfectly still. In the next, she was ten feet in the air, executing a perfect flip. As she leapt, the Jedi flicked the lightsaber out, catching Tacks' rifle and cutting it in half, the force of the blow knocking him over. 

On her way down, she went straight for Jet. General Ti landed right in front of him, her lightsaber coming down in a slash, disarming the trooper. She landed a kick right to his chestplate, sending him back and to the ground.

In the moment General Ti had taken out Jet, Gneiss had come to his bearings, and aimed a shot at the Jedi. But in the blink of an eye, she flicked her lightsaber up to deflect the bolt, and with a sharp _hiss_ , redirected it to the spot between Gneiss' helmet and pauldron. He went down, stunned, with a final _thunk_.

Cody, like the rest of the troopers on the parade ground, could only stare in disbelief.

In the span of _five seconds_ , this Jedi had taken out three of the most advanced troopers Kamino had to offer. Cody was pretty sure he hadn't breathed once while watching the spar.

General Ti straightened up and brushed off her robes. She turned back to the ranks of troopers and, tilting her head ever so slightly, simply said, "Who's next?"

If Cody didn't already have a _runiriduur_ , he was pretty sure he would've fallen in love in that moment.

Alpha-17 took one look at the shocked troopers and just laughed.

Muttering could be heard throughout the room. No one believed anything like that could be possible, but here they all were.

Slowly, another three troopers - Bravo, Fox, and Click - step forward. 

Fox clapped his hand on Click's shoulder, and with a bravado that didn't sound completely convincing, said, "We got this, right _vode_?"

Click simply stared at Fox while Bravo nodded weakly.

General Ti sent a small smile - or what could almost, possibly be called a smirk - towards the three troopers.

She raised her lightsaber vertically in front of her face, then slashed it downwards in the same salute she had before. The Jedi then closed her eyes, and waited.

Cody saw Fox go over a strategy with Bravo and Click using a series of hand signals. It looked more complicated than the last squad's plan, which seemed to just be "surround and shoot." When Fox finished, they all nodded in grim determination.

Then, without further ado, Bravo took off running. 

He swept along General Ti's left, quickly firing off shots. This didn't seem to faze the Jedi - she just deflected bolt after bolt back towards the trooper. But Bravo was fast, and was able to dodge them easily enough.

While the General's attention was focused on Bravo, Click bolted around to the right, trying to outflank her. Cody saw the General track his movement, backing up ever so slightly to keep the two of them in front of her. 

Even with the two troopers firing at the Jedi, she was still able to deflect all of their bolts. They hadn't made the same mistake of getting too close - like the first squad did - but that also meant that they were too far to try for any opening.

Cody tilted his head, studying the defensive style of the Jedi. Though she was of course very skilled with her lightsaber - that's not what he thought her skill was. No, Cody saw that her _footwork_ was the key. General Ti was both light on her feet and giving them a solid weight, both leading the troopers to where she wanted them and not letting them realize that she was the one in control.

Cody smiled to himself. It was _genius_.

As Bravo and Click distracted General Ti, Fox snuck around the perimeter of the parade grounds, moving behind even Alpha-17, to try to get behind her. Unlike with Click, General Ti did not adjust her position as Fox moved into position opposite Bravo.

For a moment, it looked as though Fox had succeeded at getting the drop on her. 

Fox lined up to take the shot at the General's back. From her posture and the constant slash of her lightsaber, it didn't look like she noticed the trooper at her back. But in the split second before Fox fired, Cody saw the Jedi's footwork change.

Right as Fox's finger hit the trigger, General Ti lunged out of the line of fire towards Click. 

And when the Jedi was out of the way, Fox realized too late that his bolt was headed straight for Bravo.

It hit the trooper right in the chink between chestplate and pauldron, dropping Bravo instantly.

As she lunged safely out of the way of the bolt, General Ti flicked her lightsaber up, disarming Click with a _whoosh_. She then grabbed Click's arm, and with seemingly impossible strength, spun him around to land right on top of Fox. 

Another spar that lasted barely a minute, and this Jedi had taken out three more troopers.

The murmurs from the ranks grew louder, more excited.

"Anyone else?"

Though the expression on General Ti's face still appeared to be impassive, it appeared almost as if she was enjoying herself.

The troopers around Cody whispered to each other excitedly, as if each one was daring the other to go up and try to take her on.

"I'm not nearly that crazy. Can you imagine going up against her after that?" Bly whispered, leaning over to Cody. But Cody didn't respond.

He had an idea.

Cody just looked over to Bly for a moment, and shrugged, "Maybe I am," before stepping forward.

At the same time, another trooper from the back row of the ranks had stepped forward as well.

"And who might my new challengers be?" The Jedi asked, looking at the two of them.

"CC-2224, Ma'am, Cody." He tried to put as much strength in his voice as he could, but that was made difficult by the groans of Fox and Click in a pile to his left.

The other trooper straightened up as the Jedi looked at him, "CT-7567, Ma'am, but everyone calls me Rex." 

Cody's eyebrows shot up. He didn't expect a CT to be at ARC training. Whoever this _Rex_ was, he must be good.

The Jedi nodded, then moved to step back into her stance.

"General," Rex cut in, "before we begin, may I exchange my weapon?"

General Ti regarded the trooper for a moment, before saying, "Very well". 

Rex jogged over to the weapons rack. On his way back, Cody noticed that instead of their standard-issue rifle, Rex had grabbed two blaster pistols instead.

 _Interesting_.

The Jedi nodded at his choice. She then brought her lightsaber back up to her face, then down, saluting to signal the beginning of the match. Again closing her eyes, General Ti stood patiently, waiting for them to make the first move.

Cody turned to Rex. He didn't have a fully-fledged plan, but he knew whatever they did, it would have to focus on one key strategic element.

They both lifted their hands and did the same hand signal at the same moment - _footwork_.

Cody grinned. Maybe he and Rex will get along well after all.

The two troopers put their heads together and signed out a brief overview of their plans. After a moment, Cody nodded to Rex, and he returned the gesture. Then, they planted their feet, readied their blasters, and got into position.

Rex tilted his head towards Cody, and without another moment of hesitation, ran full speed towards General Ti.

He went in, blasting alternatively with each pistol, trying to get up close to the Jedi. General Ti deflected the bolts easily, slashing her lightsaber up and down in an X-formation. For a moment, it looked like Rex was going to barrel right into her, but at the last second, General Ti twisted away. 

As she did this, Cody watched her footwork. 

She flicked up her lightsaber, trying to disarm Rex. General Ti managed to catch the blaster in his left hand, but he moved his right hand away and was able to keep a hold on his second one.

 _Rex saw that General Ti disarmed her opponents first before trying to take them out,_ Cody thought, _which is why he went for two pistols instead of one rifle_.

_Nice._

Though Rex managed to twist his remaining pistol out of the path of General Ti's lightsaber, she used his momentum to sweep out his legs from under him. Cody saw Rex lose his balance and fall.

But somehow, he knew that Rex wasn't down for the count just yet.

Cody took this moment to sweep in to the left, producing cover fire for Rex. General Ti had to turn towards this new opponent in order to deflect his bolts, giving Rex the opportunity to roll out of his prone position and return to his feet.

The two troopers now flanked the Jedi, firing bolts and dodging the ones redirected back towards them. Cody could feel the adrenaline pulse through his veins, his breath hot in his helmet. 

It wasn't anything he wasn't already used to, but something about this spar, something about having a _Jedi_ as his opponent, and needing to use his brain more than his brawn, made Cody feel right at home.

He grinned under his helmet, and kept firing.

This stalemate went on for a few more moments. Slowly, Cody stepped around General Ti so that he and Rex were almost directly across from one another, mirror images to Bravo and Fox from earlier.

But as he moved into position, Cody watched her footwork.

Like earlier, nothing about the Jedi's posture or expression gave any indication that she was about to jump out of the way. But there was a small shift in her stance, the tiniest movement in her foot, that suggested what she was about to do.

And right as she made that shift, Cody broke into a run directly towards the General. He dropped down about a moment before he would run into her, sliding on his side to go for her ankles instead.

But before Cody could make contact, General Ti was up in the air, jumping and twirling towards Rex in the same way she had with Jet in the first spar. 

Though Rex tried to dodge out of the way, the Jedi was too fast. She flicked the other blaster out of Rex's hand with her lightsaber and landed a kick so hard on his chest-plate that he ended up halfway across the parade ground.

But Cody was counting on that.

The moment the General had leaped into the air, Cody had rolled to his feet. He was only about six feet away from Rex, but planned it so he would be in the Jedi's blind spot.

Cody got into his firing stance, aimed his rifle, and like Jango had taught him, took a breath slowly in. On the exhale, he fired.

Right to where General Ti's lightsaber handle was after she disarmed Rex.

With a metallic _pzzat_ , the lightsaber flew out of her hands, landing to the ground with a _clang_.

Cody stared at disbelief. He...did it.

He was so shocked at his own success that he didn't notice General Ti move until it was too late - she crouched down and twirled, and with a low kick, swept Cody's feet out from under him.

Before he could blink, he was lying on the floor, staring up into the bright lights of the parade ground.

 _...osik_.

Cody just lay on the ground for a moment, taking a breath and not entirely willing to get up.

But then a shadow fell over his visor, blocking the light from above.

General Ti stood over Cody, hand outstretched to help him up.

He blinked at her for a moment. Any commanding officer he's ever had to deal with would _never_ help him up after a failed exercise.

But, as Cody was sensing to be a pattern, the Jedi were different.

He let his momentary confusion pass, and reached out to grip the General's wrist. She was strong, and managed to get him on his feet with little effort.

Cody watched, still off-put, as she walked over to do the same to Rex.

"I see you two watched the previous spars closely, and learned what you could from them before taking me on."

Cody looked at Rex, but neither of them seemed to know what to say.

"This is a wise trait, and will serve you well as ARC troopers." The General took a pause, then continued with a small bit of amusement in her tone, "Not even all of the Jedi I know possess such patience."

Cody was speechless, any words of thanks he could've said were frozen in his throat.

"Just remember, that though a lightsaber is powerful, it is not everything." As the General looked at the two troopers awkwardly standing in front of her, her voice lost the amused tone and gained a much sharper, more serious edge. "Just because you may seem defenseless, that does _not_ mean you are helpless."

Cody blinked. If he didn't know better, he would think that maybe this Jedi, this person not of the _vode_ , might actually _care_ about their lives.

General Ti regarded Cody and Rex for a moment more, then turned to the rest of the troopers.

"Who's next?"

Cody and Rex slipped back into their ranks and watched as three more troopers stepped up. 

General Ti tilted her head, smiled ever so slightly, and saluted with her lightsaber. The three troopers rushed her, and she set about deflecting the bolts with a _hiss_...

~

"-and she was like _bam_! Another strong kick! And then her lightsaber was all _whoosh_ , _whoosh_ , deflecting bolts like _pew pew pew_!"

Bly chuckled as he pressed an ice pack to Cody's back. "Yes, _Grey'ika_ , we know. We were all there."

"And when she flipped Acorn over her shoulder, straight on to Appo? Beautiful!"

Cody couldn't help but smile. Grey had always been the quiet, subdued one of the group. Seeing him get so excited about something couldn't help but warm Cody's heart.

Grey leaned back on his barracks and sighed, smiling up at the ceiling. "I hope whatever Jedi I get assigned to is just as amazing as General Ti. I would follow her wherever she asked."

When Grey said that, Cody's mind immediately went to his _runiriduur_. He had been trying not to think about it all day but...there was no denying it. His soulmate, who he now knew to be a _Jedi_ , was also going to be his commanding officer.

If he thought he would be decommissioned just for having a soulmate, having one be his superior officer would get him culled for sure.

Cody's mind felt split. The part of his brain that had been trained, bred, and grown to be a good soldier was screaming at him to follow orders. He should have reported his colors the moment he got them. And the thought of being bound in such an intimate manner to a commanding officer? That piece of his brain recoiled from the idea.

But there was also the other part of his mind, a weight in the back of his thoughts that Cody always had but didn't recognize was there until the moment he locked eyes with his _runiriduur_. That piece was worried not for him, but for his soulmate.

It had been easier to think about his soulmate when he was just some civilian, some Senate Representative, who would be safe behind the trenches of this war. But now Cody knows that he will in fact be _in_ the trenches, and that made him more worried than ever.

But it also made him more convinced of his training than ever.

If the Jedi - _his_ Jedi - were going to need him and his brothers to be the best they can be, then Cody will sure as hell make that happen. If the ARC troopers are there to be the right-hand men of their generals, then no matter who Cody gets assigned to, he will protect them.

 _Ni haati_.

"...Cody?"

Cody snapped out of his thoughts, bringing his focus back to the present.

"Yes, _Bly'ika_?"

Bly looked at him for a moment, concern in his eyes. "Are you okay, _ori'vod_? You seemed a little...distant there, for a moment."

Cody sent a reassuring smile to his brother. "I'm fine, don't worry. Just thinking about the future, and our new Jedi."

"Yeah," Grey grinned at the two of them, "it's going to be great."

 _I hope so_ , Cody couldn't help thinking.

~

"Alright, what can you troopers tell me of the Force?"

General Ti's question was met with silence.

She looked out over the ranks of troopers, eyebrows raised. "Really? Nothing?"

If they weren't at attention, Cody knew he would hear some of his brothers shift uncomfortably. It wasn't that they didn't _know_ of the Force. Between the library and Jango's stories, they had heard little bits and pieces. It was just, with the _kaminiise_ always breathing down their necks, none of them felt like they could admit it.

General Ti sighed, ever so slightly, at the resounding silence. 

"The Force is...an energy field. It connects all living things. From the tiniest tesfli on Gorsh to the giant purrgil who roam the stars, it resides in all of us. The Force comes from living things, and living things come from the Force."

The Jedi tilted her head and smiled at the troopers, "Yes, even clones have a place with the Force. Not all beings are in tune with it enough to sense it, but I can feel each of your force signatures. You each have your own individual presence and aura. Though physically, you may appear identical, the Force sees no life as the same as another."

Cody's brain could barely comprehend what General Ti said. He had been trained since birth to think of himself as a clone, as a number, as just one of a million interchangeable parts. Of course as brothers they knew their individuality, but as far as anyone else was concerned, they were all one and the same.

Well, except for this Jedi. And apparently, the Force.

In a way it almost sounded...too good to be true.

General Ti continued, unaware, or at least not showing she was aware, of the existential crisis going on in every trooper in front of her.

"The purpose of the Jedi Order is to bring balance to the Force. We let the Force guide us, and through its will, we strive to bring peace to the galaxy."

Cody tactfully didn't voice the question burning in his head - how did peacekeepers end up as generals in a galactic civil war?

"The Force is not simply a connecting energy. It can also be used, or wielded, by those who have a strong connection to it."

General Ti closed her eyes and outstretched her hand. Cody saw something move to his left, on the side of the parade ground. A crate that had previously been resting near the munitions rack was now levitating and moving slowly towards them.

Cody blinked, wondering if he was seeing things. But no, as he opened his eyes again, the crate was still floating.

General Ti smiled at the small gasps from the troopers as she let the crate rest next to her.

"The Force can also have an impact in battle." She turned to one of the troopers standing in the front row of the ranks, "Fox, if you don't mind, may I use you for a quick demonstration?"

Fox hesitated for a moment, likely remembering what happened during her "demonstration" the day before. But then he strode forward, standing opposite of the Jedi.

"Good. Now, if you please, draw and fire on me."

Fox started at the request. "Ma'am? You want me to fire on you...unarmed?"

General Ti smiled wryly at the trooper. "I assure you, trooper, I am never unarmed as long as I am connected to the Force."

Fox looked at her for a moment, before nodding and drawing his blaster. Before he could take a shot, however, the Jedi whipped out her hand, pulling the rifle straight out of Fox's grip. In the blink of an eye, the blaster was in the General's hands, and she was pointing it straight at Fox's helmet.

"How-"

"The Force, trooper, can be used in many ways." General Ti lowered the rifle and tossed it back to Fox. She nodded at him, and he returned back to his place amongst the ranks. "You were trained to treat your armor and weapons as an extension of your body, yes? Now imagine that same feeling, but connected to every living thing, every object. This is how we Jedi see, and wield, the Force."

As the General continued, Cody absently wondered how many Jedi were in the Order. Were there dozens, hundreds, thousands?

And, as his mind so often did in the recent past, Cody thought of his soulmate.

For a brief moment, looking up at the Jedi standing in front of him, Cody wondered if she knew his _runiriduur_. 

Cody brushed that thought aside as quickly as it came.

 _What am I going to do,_ Cody asked himself wryly, _go up and ask her "oh hi do you know this one Jedi, he has ginger hair and beautiful blue eyes, can you point him out to me?"_

Cody chuckled at the thought. _That would go over well._

"The Force, as I said, can be used in many ways." General Ti's voice cut through Cody's internal musing. "That means that it can be used against you, both mentally and physically. It is important to remember that the Force itself is not inherently good or bad - it is how we use it. For the Jedi, because our natural connection to the Force is so strong, we use it through the control of emotion."

"It is because of that strong Force connection that all Jedi are born seeing color. And, furthermore, it means that the Force is the true soulmate of every Jedi."

There was an intake of breath from every trooper in the room. Alpha-17 quickly looked around to see if any Kaminoans were watching the parade grounds. Colors and soulmates were something that was simply _not talked about_ around the clones.

But for Cody, time stopped.

_...what?_

Cody's vision narrowed and he completely lost track of everything that was going on around him.

He just, well, _assumed_ that if some greater power, be it the Force or anything else, put him and his _runiriduur_ together it was for a reason.

Yes, Cody recognized the fact that he is a clone and was bred to die for the Republic. And yes, technically his soulmate was one of his commanding officers.

Cody never assumed it would automatically all work out but...

Maybe he assumed that it would be _simple_. Between them, at least. If that wasn't the point of a soulmate, then what was?

_But if my soulmate is a Jedi, and Jedi's true soulmates are the Force, then..._

_Maybe..._

_Our soulbond is one-way?_

Since Cody discovered he had a soulmate, he never had a doubt about their connection - not _once_. But now, once that tiny piece of uncertainty took root in his mind, he couldn't stop the downward spiral in his mind.

_Maybe he's meant to be my runiriduur, but I'm not meant to be his._

Whatever was being said by General Ti or Alpha-17 sounded like white noise to Cody. 

_But we had a connection,_ a small part of Cody's brain said, trying to be the voice of reason in a whirlwind of questions and doubt, _didn't we?_

Cody remembered the thunderstruck expression on his soulmate's face when they first locked eyes on Kamino. It had only lasted a moment, but it was real. Wasn't it?

And on Geonosis, his soulmate had tried to reach out on the gunship, right? And they _definitely_ had a connection later, before he had left Geonosis.

Maybe that was the problem. Every time, his soulmate had... _left_.

Left Cody behind.

In the moment, he had just assumed that it was duty pulling his _runiriduur_ away. After all, that's why Cody didn't just run over to him on Geonosis. But, maybe it was something more.

 _Maybe he doesn't want me_.

Cody's mind spun around this point for what felt like ages. Because really, what person, especially someone as important as a _jetii_ , would want someone like Cody?

_I'm just a clone. Identical to a million others, born and bred to die._

_What could I possibly have to offer my runiriduur?_

Jedi aren't even supposed to have soulmates, according to General Ti.

_So, what does that make me?_

Cody knew he really should be paying attention, but he couldn't stop his mind from repeating the same torrent of worries over and over again.

_Why would I ever think I'm good enough?_

Cody's breath quickened, feeling harsh and sticky in his helmet.

_Why would anyone, especially a Jedi, want to be connected to me?_

He started to feel light-headed, small pricks of lights dancing in the corners of his eyes.

_I shouldn't even be feeling this way. I'm a soldier. Good soldiers don't have soulmates and don't care about being wanted._

Cody clenched his fist, trying to will his hands to stop shaking.

_Why do I feel like this?_

His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his armor with how fast it was beating.

_Why am I not strong enough?_

Cody half-saw General Ti look over at him, concern in her eyes. If he didn't know better, he would say that she could sense the whirlwind in his mind.

He tried to take a steadying breath, wanting to get his heart rate under control.

_I'm a soldier. I need to get myself under control._

Cody's mind brought up Jango, much to his surprise. He had avoided thinking about him since the remembrance ceremony.

But if there was any moment where Cody needed some strength from his _buir_ , it was now.

He closed his eyes, and pictured the steel grey of Jango's old apartment. There was one day, after Gregor had lost his squadmates, where they had all squeezed onto the tiny cushions on the floor. It was their first death, first loss, and none of them were handling it well.

So Jango taught them to breathe.

 _In,_ Cody breathed, hearing Jango's voice in his head, _out._

_Cui ogir'olar._

_In, out_.

_Verd ori'shya beskar’gam._

_In, out._

Cody felt the tightness in his chest ease slightly.

 _"What's on your mind is_ _neither here nor there,"_ Jango had told them. _"But we are warriors, and must keep a clear head. A warrior is more than their armor."_

Cody felt a slow smile creep up at the thought of the memory.

_A warrior is more than their armor. A warrior is forged of heart._

He opened his eyes. His breath was calmer, more even now, and his heart didn't feel like it was going to explode.

He wasn't _fine,_ but he also didn't feel the same overwhelming maelstrom in his mind.

Cody tried to bring his thoughts back to the present, but it was like dragging a stick through mud. 

"...which is why we're going to ask all of the ARC troopers to paint their armor, so the Jedi can differentiate them in the field..."

Cody closed his eyes at Alpha-17's words. He kept repeating the breathing exercise, trying to ward off the hurt each mention of colors brought.

"Now," Alpha-17 continued, "about your new armor choices..."

_In, out._

_Verd nau'u kad kar’ta_.

~

Cody felt the rest of the day go by in a haze.

Though he had managed to keep from completely losing control of his mind again, he was still not entirely present.

Cody shuffled along with the rest of the ARC trainees to the quartermaster, where they were to pick out new additions for their armor. He didn't notice the glances Bly and Grey gave him, then each other.

Walking into the quartermaster's chambers, however, made his eyes go wide in wonder.

The room was entirely transformed from what Cody remembered. Before Geonosis, the troopers were marched through here to get their new gear. Then, it was simple and tidy - one row for armor, one for blasters.

Now, it was covered with different racks and shelves and stands. Rows of utility belts were hanging from one wall. An entire corner was devoted to helmet accessories. There were boots and bags and grenades and grapplers and anything else that an ARC trooper would ask for.

Cody couldn't help the small smile that overtook his face.

Alpha-17 turned to face the troopers. 

"Stand easy, troopers," he said as he took off his helmet. "This is the fun part of your training. As ARC troopers, we get the best of the best in armor. All of the new weapons that go through R&D? They come straight to us. So choose whatever you like, just remember that you will have to _carry_ everything you take."

Alpha-17 smiled, clearly enjoying the gasps coming from the troopers in front of him. "Ask me or QM," he pointed his thumb back to the clone standing behind a counter on the rear wall, "anything you'd like about the new gear. Dismissed!"

Grey and Bly took off their helmets and turned to look at Cody. They had matching grins on their faces.

"Come on, _ori'vod_ ," Bly said, tugging Cody to the corner where all the troopers were setting down their helmets, "let's go shopping!"

"Bly! Over here! Look at the new armor additions!"

"One second, Grey! Slow down!"

"You hurry up, old man!"

"Just because I am seven and a half minutes older than you, _Grey'ika_ , that does _not_ make me an old man!"

"Well you're slow like one!"

Cody snorted at his squadmates' antics. Seeing his _vod'ike_ smile for the first time in who knows how long helped ease the weight off his chest.

And by the look Bly gave him, that was exactly the point.

Cody just shook his head at him and walked over to where Grey was pulling out different pieces of armor.

On the right side of the room, tall racks held rows of different pieces of armor. There was a shelf completely dedicated to newly designed chest plates, ones with different angles to help diffuse blaster bolts, ones with compartments for ammo, and ones that even appeared to have some sort of low-grade ray shielding built in. 

To the left of the chestplates were piles of all sorts of other armor pieces - shoulder pads, leg guards, arm bracers - anything Cody could imagine. And they were all surprisingly heavy, made from a material much thicker and more substantial than the plastoid composite that made up his old kit.

" _Ori'vod,_ over here!"

Cody turned away from the bracers. Bly and Grey, alongside a number of the other troopers, were all ogling a long rack of what appeared to be large pauldrons. There were a number of different styles - some, like the one Alpha-17 wore, swept across only half of the chestplate, while others covered both shoulders. There were small ones, that just covered one shoulder, and long ones, that went down and covered your pecs.

Bly held one up for Cody, grinning excitedly. It was indeed large - a big ring of armor plates that seemed to swallow Bly. And, for some reason, it swooped up to a point on one end.

"Look at this! It helps protect the gap between our arm guards and our chest plate," he then lifted it over his head and let it settle on his shoulders, " _a_ _nd_ it looks cool!" Bly struck a small pose, as if modeling it for Cody.

Cody just rolled his eyes and went to pick one up off the rack.

" _Osik-_ This thing is heavy! Why would you want something like that as a part of your _besbe_?"

"It's a shame, _ori'vod_ , that you never learned to have taste."

"Excuse me, _Bly'ika_? I have great taste, which is exactly why I will never wear that piece of _osik_."

"How tragic, Grey," Bly stage-whispered to his squadmate, "look at how delusional our poor _ori'vod_ has become."

The two of them burst into laughter at Cody's affronted expression.

"Fine, fine, wear the damn pauldron. But don't come complaining to me when your back hurts from the extra weight!"

Grey and Bly grinned at each other in victory, then went back to debating the merits of the different styles of pauldrons.

Cody just huffed at them and wandered over to the helmet rack.

He picked up a visor, turning it over in his hands. It wasn't anything fancy, no special tech or night vision or whatnot. But he thought of the blinding sun on Geonosis, and figured that it couldn't do any harm.

Cody felt a presence over his shoulder, and saw Bly lean over to look at the visor.

"Oh, what does that do?"

"It...keeps out the sun."

Bly looked almost disappointed. "That's all?"

Cody shrugged. "Yeah, what else do I need it to do?"

"I don't know, night vision? Electrical sensors? Laser bolts shooting out of your eyes?"

Cody gave a small chuckle. "Thanks Bly, but I think I'm okay with just the keeping the sun out of my eyes thing."

The younger trooper shrugged, "Lame, but sensible. My _ori'vod_ in a sentence."

Bly grinned as Cody knocked his shoulder into his _vod'ika_.

"You're a menace."

"It's why you keep me around!"

"Keep telling yourself that."

Cody shook his head at Bly's laugh. He tucked the visor into a loop on his belt, looking around for where Grey had gotten to.

Cody spotted him loitering over by the weapons rack, something long in his hands.

"Hey _Grey'ika_ ," he called, "what do you have over there?"

Grey turned, _osik_ -eating grin on his face.

"A machete!"

"NO-" Cody yelled as Bly began to laugh harder.

"Aw, come on Cody! This is great!"

Cody marched towards Grey and took the machete out of his hands. It was surprisingly light for how long it was, the curved point of the blade wickedly sharp, and the handle long and wrapped with a sturdy grip.

He looked up at his _vod'ika_ , the excitement so clearly written on Grey's face, and sighed.

"Here," Cody sighed, resigned. He held the machete back out to his squadmate. "If you're so excited about it, who am I to say no."

Cody didn't think it was possible for Grey's eyes to light up even more.

"You're the best, _ori'vod_!"

"Just..." Cody sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "be careful with it? I don't think the _kaminiise_ will be very happy if they have to regrow any of your fingers."

"Of course! When have I ever not been careful?"

As he said that, Grey dropped the machete, narrowly missing his foot.

Cody buried his face in his hands, muttering, "I have a bad feeling about this."

Bly just continued to laugh.

After the machete was safely stored away in a sheath and hooked to Grey's back, the three troopers turned to the blaster rack.

Cody eyed the blaster pistols. He knew they would all be given DC-15A blaster rifles, a weapon he knew and was comfortable using. But he also thought of the trooper he sparred General Ti with, Rex, and how useful having a second pistol was.

He grabbed a holster and a single blaster pistol, strapping them to his hips.

As he turned back to his squadmates, he saw that Bly, of course, grabbed two.

Along with his DC-15A.

"Bly..." Cody slowly said, "do you really think you'll need all that?"

Bly looked at him as if he had grown a second head.

"Well, why not?"

Cody just accepted the fact that, as much as he loved his _vod'ike_ , there were some things he would never understand.

As his squadmates continued to look over the blasters, Cody wandered over to a quiet corner where a dozen different utility belts were hanging.

He looked down at the belt he currently wore. It was nice enough, and did the job well, but he wouldn't mind maybe a few more pockets.

Cody grabbed a newer one, with more pouches and even some clips to hang things off of. He wasn't sure what he'd use them for yet, but something in the back of his mind told him he'd need it.

Moving along the wall, Cody found a basket filled with metal balls the size of his palm. He picked one up, and moved to press the button on the side.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Cody looked up. QM was leaning against the wall, holding one of the metal balls.

"What do they do?"

"Well," QM started, "these little beauties emit a strong electromagnetic charge that can disable any droid's circuits with ten feet. The higher ups call these Electro Magnetic Pulse Grenades, or EMPGs," QM tossed the ball into the air, catching it with a wink, "but I call them droid poppers."

Cody glanced down at the little grenade, an impressed look on his face.

"Well then, I guess I better take a couple."

QM chuckled as he tossed the popper in his hand to Cody, who caught it with ease. Cody saw the quartermaster give him a quick once-over, silently cataloguing the equipment he had so far picked up.

"You're not one for flashy gear, are you?"

Cody shrugged. "Not really," he said, picking a couple of poppers to load in his new utility belt, "I just want what's useful, not much else. Extra weight will just slow me down, and, well, I can't have that if I want to save as many of my men as I can."

QM looked at him for a moment, expression inscrutable. Then his face softened, giving Cody a small smile. The quartermaster nodded at him, then turned towards a trooper who had approached him with a question.

Cody grabbed another couple poppers, securing them in a pouch on the small of his back, then turned to track down his _vod'ike_. He spied Grey and Bly over near the communication and analysis equipment, and made his way over to join them.

He quickly started talking with Grey, who was hunched over a shelf of different antennas, attached to different pieces of armor, about the merits of various lengths. Grey ended up picking one of the smaller sized ones, attached to the front of his left shoulder-pad. Cody, on the other hand...

" _Ori'vod_ , you're going to poke someone's eyes out with that thing!"

Bly turned from the shelf he was looking at, a pair of polarized macrobinoculars in his hand, when he heard Grey's outburst. When he looked down at the antenna in Cody's hand, however, he joined his squadmate in laughing.

"That thing," Bly said, between breaths of laughter, "is enormous!"

Cody looked down at the device in his hands. "It's not that bad," he muttered.

"Cody," Bly said, suddenly serious after his laughter died off. "If you get that antenna, you have to promise me one thing."

"What?"

A grin spread over Bly's face. "Stab at least one droid with it for me."

"Shut up, _mir'osik_."

Grey continued to laugh at the two of them.

"Seriously though, Cody, why?"

Cody shrugged. "What if there's bad service? I... I don't want to be out of range when someone might need me."

Bly got a soft look in his eye, and sent a small smile to his brother.

"Okay, _ori'vod_. Okay."

The three of them looked over the last of the remaining shelves, grabbing a couple more items. Cody picked up a periscope rangefinder attachment for his helmet, as well as a flashlight. And, with only minimal eye-rolling from Bly and muted laughter from Grey, he decided to pick up another antenna for his helmet as well.

Once finished, Cody, Grey, and Bly stood in line with the other ARC trainees to sign out their gear. They each filled out forms detailing their equipment, and upon leaving, were handed two things.

A jar of paint, and a kama in the matching color.

Cody stared at the items in his hands for a moment, the color annoyingly vibrant.

 _Ve'vut_. 

For a split-second, the torrent of doubts felt like they were about to blow Cody over. Suddenly, a hand on his shoulder shook him out of it.

"Cody?" Bly said, concern in his eyes. "Are you coming?"

Cody nodded, not trusting himself to speak, and walked silently back to the barracks with his squadmates. He only half-listened to the banter between Grey and Bly on the way.

"Do you think you got enough stuff, Bly?"

"What of it, _Grey'ika_?"

Cody could only give a half-smile, mind obviously elsewhere. And from the worried glance exchanged between his squadmates, they could tell.

They slowly made their way back to the barracks, silence falling over the three of them. Once inside, Cody found himself collapsing onto his bunk, eyes not able to leave the colorful jar in his hand.

There was a shift in the bunk, and two warm presences appeared on either side of Cody. Bly, on his left, wordlessly nudged his shoulder.

Cody recognized it for what it was - an invitation to talk. 

For a moment, he was tempted. He looked at the tub in his hand, _ve'vut_ dancing in his eyes, and thought that it would be so easy to tell them everything.

That he could now name the colors in each of their paint jars. That he had a constant warm weight in the back of his mind. That he not only had a soulmate, but a _runiriduur_.

He knew that they would want him to tell them.

 _Aliit_ , Bly had said. _We're in this together._

Cody wanted to tell them, but he knew he couldn't.

He thought of Rain and Cam, the two cadets who were _kar’ta riduur_ and were dragged off to be decommissioned.

If they were killed for having a platonic soulmate, Cody stood no chance with a true soulmate. And telling his squadmates would only put them in danger.

Cody closed his eyes. _I'm sorry, ner vode, ner aliit_.

He opened them, and turned to Bly with a small smile. "I'm fine, _Bly'ika_. It's just all hitting me that it's real, you know?"

It wasn't a lie. But it wasn't the whole truth, either.

From the discerning look on Bly's face, he knew that as well. But his squadmate took a breath and nodded, accepting that Cody was trying his best.

Cody felt Grey's arm wrap around his shoulder. For being almost twenty minutes younger than him, Grey was somehow the bulkiest of Kad'la. It was something Cody tried to forget, but moments like this were a forcible reminder.

"I know what you need to cheer up, _ori'vod_."

"What's that, _Grey'ika_?"

He lifted his jar of paint, a grin on his face. "A paint party!"

Cody couldn't help but chuckle. His _vode,_ the absolute pain in the _shebs_ they were, always knew how to bring him out of a funk.

"Alright then, let's go for it."

Grey let out a whooping cheer, and the three of them got to work. 

It started out as absolute chaos. 

As it turned out, the _kaminiise_ had never valued artistic talent in their product, and because of that, none of them actually knew how to paint. It took them a few moments to realize that they had no _brushes_ to go with their jars, which led to a disastrous few minutes of trial-and-error on how to actually get the paint on their armor.

Grey decided to give in and just use his hands. That went about as well as anyone could expect.

They managed to track down some brushes from QM, and set to work as best they could. 

"I wonder what color this is," Bly said, holding up the thigh plate he was painting solid. "Wouldn't it be nice to see?"

Cody hummed noncommittally, the word _shi'yayc_ on the tip of his tongue.

"I bet mine is something nice and subtle," Grey said, painting two thin bands around his upper arm guards, "something that will help me blend in to my surroundings."

It took everything Cody could not to snort at the comment. The bright _ge'tal_ of Grey's armor was nowhere near the nondescript color he was hoping for.

He rather liked the look of the _ve'vut_. It wasn't particularly flashy, but distinctive all the same.

And, for some reason, seeing it wash over his armor made the warm presence in the back of his mind hum happily.

They took turns modelling their painted armor, giving each other tips and laughing at each other's designs. Grey was very excited about all of his little arm stripes, while Bly decided to do something fancy on his shoes. They teased Cody for his simple design, and he teased them right back.

An hour had passed by, and they were all on their final pieces - their helmets.

Cody decided to go with something simple, just painting his visor and helmet fin. He liked the look of it, simple maybe, but that didn't matter to him.

 _I hope my soulmate likes it_.

The thought popped into his head without warning, surprising Cody.

Seeing his armor all painted, _for the Jedi_ , it was hard not to accept the reality of the situation. Whether or not he liked it, whether or not he had doubts, whether or not he was scared he wasn't strong enough, this was _real_.

He was training to be an ARC trooper in the Grand Army of the Republic. He was going to be the right-hand man for a Jedi General. He was going to fight, lead men, and - hopefully - bring peace to the galaxy.

And he was going to do all of it with a soulmate, whether or not he accepts Cody.

There was no changing that now, so Cody did what all clone commanders were trained to do. Accept the situation. Adapt. Move on.

He looked down at the helmet in his hands, the _ve'vut_ simultaneously comforting and taunting. 

_Well, if there was one good thing about this whole mess_ , he mused, _at least it's nice to finally see the brightness and color in the galaxy._

That thought gave him an idea.

Quietly, while Bly and Grey were bickering over whether a striped or solid shoulder-pad looked better, Cody grabbed a thin brush. Sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth in concentration, he did a few small strokes at the base of the chin on his helmet.

Cody leaned back, eyeing his handiwork.

Whether or not the future with his soulmate was clear, Cody could still appreciate the gift his colors were. Seeing his colors was like seeing the sun rise for the first time. It's something that is irrevocably a part of him, and something no one, no brother, _kaminiise_ , or Jedi could ever take away from him. So, Cody figured he might as well begin honoring it.

And the small sun shining back at him was a good start.

He looked up at his brothers, laughing at some lame comeback one of them had thrown at the other. They had no idea what was coming after this, what dangers lie ahead for them, but it didn't matter. They were home, they were together, and they were safe.

Cody couldn't help but smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Part 2 of Kamino Training Montage will happen next chapter, so stay tuned.
> 
> Fun things about this chapter: CC-6969, or Gneiss, is pronounced "nice". Just as a fun fact. 
> 
> Other fun things: it's my favorite that Cody has a tiny sun on his chin in his Phase I armor?? So I knew I needed to work it in to this somehow.
> 
> Anyways, a big thank you to the Vode An server for constantly putting up with my ramblings about this chapter, and to all who have done writing sprints with me! You all are great, and I'm so glad to have found you.
> 
> Also, as always, much love to my vode, Bucket, Arc, and especially Scribbles for being the best support, betas, and overall people. I couldn't do this without you.
> 
> Want to talk this AU, Codywan, or Clone Wars in general? Don't know who Grey is and want me to give you my Ted Talk? Come say hi on [tumblr](https://whollyjoly.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Alright, get hyped for part 2 of Kamino! See you next time!
> 
> Til then, lots of love x
> 
> Mando'a translations:  
>  _kebiin_ \- blue  
>  _vod_ ( _vode_ , plural) - brother (brothers)  
>  _runiriduur_ \- true soulmate  
>  _kaminiise_ \- Kaminoans  
>  _Ni haati_ \- I promise  
>  _ori'vod_ \- older brother  
>  _buir_ \- parent  
>  _Cui ogir'olar_ \- It's neither here nor there  
>  _Verd ori'shya beskar'gam_ \- A warrior is more than their armor  
>  _Verd nau'u kad ka'rta_ \- A warrior is forged of heart  
>  _vod'ika_ ( _vod'ike_ , plural) - younger brother  
>  _besbe_ \- armor kit, slangily  
>  _osik_ \- shit/dung  
>  _mir'osik_ \- shit for brains  
>  _ve'vut_ \- gold  
>  _aliit_ \- family  
>  _ka'rta riduur_ \- platonic soulmates  
>  _ner vode, ner aliit_ \- my brothers, my family  
>  _shebs_ \- ass  
>  _shi'yayc_ \- yellow  
>  _ge'tal_ \- red


End file.
